We're All Stories In The End 10 - Camera Obscura

Sometimes novels pose more questions than they answer. But sometimes that's a good thing...

Camera Obscura by Lloyd Rose

Eighth Doctor Adventures number: 59

Originally published: August 2002

Companions: Fitz and Anji

The Doctor sat alone and listened to the beat of his remaining heart. He had never got used to it. He never would. The single sound where a double should be. What was this new code hammering through his body? What did it mean? Mortal. No, he'd always known he could die. Not mortal. Damaged. Crippled. Through his shirt, his fingers sought the thick ridge of his scar. Human...

The Doctor's second heart was taken from his body — for his own good, he was told. Removed by his sometime ally, sometime rival, the mysterious time-traveller Sabbath. Now, as a new danger menaces reality, the Doctor finds himself working with Sabbath again. 

From a seance in Victorian London to a wild pursuit on Dartmoor, the Doctor and his companions work frantically to unravel the mystery of this latest threat to Time... Before Time itself unravels..

This month we are back in the world of the Eighth Doctor - and you may recall that when I read "Anachrophobia", there were a couple of things I found slightly confusing: Why did the Doctor only have one heart ? Who was Mistletoe ? (okay yes I've figured it out now) - and entering this book, it’s the same conundrum - what happened in Spain? Why are the Time Lords gone ?

But this time, I'm not frustrated by gaps in my knowledge of the back-story - because when a book is *this* good, you just jump into the hansom cab and hang on !

Sure, it's a Victorian era setting - we've been here before in "Talons of Weng Chiang" and "All Consuming Fire" to name just two. The thing is, despite their veneer of moralistic values and gleaming Crystal Palaces, the old Victorians liked a bit of the grotesque - and we get that here with an under-society of madhouses, seances, freaks, dodgy magicians and carnival sideshows.

It’s a London that oozes atmosphere - full of drugs, dirt, disease, dismemberment and death. All this plus a man split into eight parts and a misshapen time-twisted monster with a mouth in his eye, a rose bush for a leg and a toaster on his back. Something to give even Morbius a run for his money. Lovely !

Given the period, Lloyd Rose obviously can't resist some Conan Doyle homage's, but I don't blame her. The Doctor's desperate escape across Dartmoor is exhilarating stuff even if there is a strong whiff of a certain hound on the breeze - and when you have an antagonist as interesting as Sabbath there are bound to be comparisons to a certain foe of the master detective.

But actually, forget Moriarty (or the Master for that matter), Sabbath is probably closest to Mycroft Holmes - the Doctor's intellectual equal (at the very least), but someone who  looks at things from a different more... singular viewpoint.

Clearly, both see themselves as THE protector of Time - and the other as a dangerous meddling fool. Forced to work together, they disapprove of each other's choices -  and some of the most enjoyable exchanges are where they argue points of intellectual morality (usually in front of a roaring fire). That and a great joke with a whoopee cushion!

I may not know much about Sabbath's history at this point - but I definitely know that I want to read more. In fact the race to recover a defective time machine with the power to destroy the entire fabric of time and space is almost secondary to the relationships between the various rich characters - and for once I'm glad. 

The Doctor's interactions with the exhibition freaks, the weird Chiltern family and even the untrustworthy Scale are all brilliantly realised. Equally the Doctor's emotional journey is there for all to experience. We've rarely seen him this vulnerable, this cranky - or this desperate.

In between the clever dialogue (and some damn good cliff-hangers) there are lovely little touches - paragraphs that brought a big grin to my face:

The TARDIS entranceway being cloaked in an illusion of darkness  - that prevents the console room from being seen from outside - is a loving nod to the constraints of the classic series. The way the Doctor describes time as a musical score with infinite possible ornamentations is just glorious - as is Sabbath listing all the ways that the Doctor is "plucked out of trouble at the last minute". It's true, in his presence the odds DO collapse. Oh, and lets not forget the fun with the tennis ball at the very end!

But as much as this is a novel about the Doctor - it's not about the Doctor being in control. He's swept along from one crisis to the next - often suffering immense gruesome harm in the process. I totally get the conceit that while Sabbath has his other heart, the Doctor is effectively immortal, but did he really have to go through quite so much to prove it ? At various times he has his chest crushed, his remaining heart stabbed, his face sliced open and is bashed up and down on the floor like a rag doll! Okay so he's allowed time to recover, but its still a bit much.

All that and he travels to the land of the dead (or maybe it's" hell") to strike a bargain with the avatar of Death herself. This is a sidestep into unexpected territory for sure, but it's so beautifully written that it's forgiven. The section where, in order to continue his descent, the Doctor gradually strips himself of his clothes, his body, his strength and finally his heart - is just marvellous.

Can you tell I loved this book ? I hope so. It's one of those novels you want to show to people and shout "Here ! Read this bit! It's brilliant isn't it ?".

So more from Lloyd Rose please. More Sabbath. And more Eighth Doctor novels that are this enjoyable.

Golden Sunsets Redux - 60 Years of Memories - Part 2 - 1968

Yes I'm cheating again - in that I'm actually going to cover several things at once which are all related to the film that came out in this year. It (and the franchise it spawned) had such a huge impact on me when I was very young that there was no way it could be missed out.

1968:

The trivia:

• Operation "Wandering Soul" was a US initiative during the Vietnam War which had recordings of Americans pretending to be ghosts played through the jungle at night. The idea was that it would demoralise the opposing Viet Cong so they would go home. Needless to say, results were mixed.

• The famous US comedy sketch show "Laugh-in" correctly predicted that Ronald Reagan would be President in 1988 (although he began his first term in 1980) and that the Berlin Wall would fall in 1989. However their prediction that the wall would be replaced by a moat full of alligators has not yet occurred.

• "Night of the Living Dead" is a public domain film because when the name was changed from "Night of the Flesh Eaters", the distributors accidentally removed the copyright indication. This means that there are hundreds of different releases available on home formats.

• When an astrologer gave the same horoscope reading to all who applied - that of France's worst mass murder - 94% found the reading to accurately fit their life.

The memory:

Planet of the Apes

How can you cover the sheer cultural impact of the "Apes" franchise in just a few paragraphs? I'm not sure I even want to try. All I know is that viewing that first film started a life-long love affair with everything to do with this future world that stretched out across the years and into every story since (yes even the Tim Burton "re-imagining" will get a mention).

My parents were big fans of the old-school "Epics" - tales from history with gigantic casts and hugely impressive set pieces. Classics such as "The Ten Commandments", "El Cid", "Spartacus", "Lawrence of Arabia" and naturally the daddy of them all, "Ben-Hur". I grew up with these films. By the time "Planet of the Apes" turned up on our small TV screen (and I was old enough to be allowed to watch it) I was well aware who Charlton Heston was. I recognised that chiselled jaw, that muscular frame - his sheer screen presence. He was one of my favourite actors (if a child can be said to have such a thing). Plus this was science fiction - *my* genre - and it featured talking apes! How could I not love it immediately? Sure the deeper allegorical elements of the story and what it said about the horrors of war and the fear of mankind engineering it's own destruction were lost on me - I was too young - but hey - talking apes !

By today's standards the ape prosthetics look primitive and obvious, but back then the masks and costumes given to the various simian "castes" succeeded in not only making talking gorillas and orangutans seem possible, they allowed the actors behind the foam rubber to imbue the apes with real personality. Of course it's boosted enormously by a stunning central performance from the wonderful Roddy McDowall as chimpanzee archaeologist Cornelius. He was such an inquisitive, peaceful and believable character, I wanted him to be my friend.

The makeup and sets and acting might help convince you that this alien world is real and the film is a terrific action piece (Chuck gets lots of opportunities to flex his muscles), but it has a compelling mystery at it's heart - how did this strange place come to exist? Sitting here in the 21st Century we know that the shocking answer to that is behind probably one of the most famous images on celluloid.

 "The word "iconic" is definitely overused nowadays, but that picture is probably one of the most deserving of that appellation. It's such a WOW! moment, I think I nearly fell off the sofa. If the previous 100-odd minutes hadn't already made me a fan, that pull back and reveal in the closing seconds sealed the deal. I'd never seen a film before that pulled off such an amazing twist - and it would be a long time before something would hit me with such force again ("The Empire Strikes Back" maybe?).

After that, I lapped up each of the "Apes" sequels as each one made an appearance on my TV screen. "Beneath" was a solid continuation (particularly as they enticed Mr. Heston back for a supporting role). A hell of a downbeat ending though. I think my only minor problem with it at the time was that I could tell it wasn't the same actor beneath Cornelius' mask (Roddy McDowall was too busy). I shouldn't have worried though because Roddy was the star of the show in the loose trilogy of the next three - "Escape", "Conquest" and "Battle". I devoured each one.

By the time 1974 came round, the UK was in the grip of full on Ape-mania. This was spearheaded (for me at least) by the release of Marvel UK's "Planet of the Apes" weekly comic which reprinted the adaptation and new stories from the US publication. Comics and 'Planet of the Apes' - what could be better?! Couple this with the transmission of the new 14-part television series and I was in seventh heaven. Okay so the characters were different. Cornelius was replaced by Galen, but it was still Roddy under the rubber. At the same time newsagents started to stock the collectable bubble gum cards that featured images from the show. British kids went mad for these and there was a huge trade in "swapsies" in my school playground. Not only did you get a still taken from an episode, the backs of the cards joined up to form nine different puzzle images! I tried so hard to collect the whole set, probably driving my parents to distraction, but I never did manage it.

Another piece of "Apes" merchandise that I have vivid memories of from 1974 is the board game. The basic premise was "be the last free human". Players took it in turn to roll two die. One was the number of spaces you could move your piece on the board, the other the number of spaces you got to move any one else's piece. The idea was to force your opponents cut-out onto one of the four "captured" spaces - and then the fun began.

In the centre of the board was a constructed cardboard "cage" protected by two swing "doors", which in turn were supported by a plastic lever connected to a round device. The captured player was stood on the top of the cage and the plastic dial turned. Random chance meant that one turn of the dial could release the lever and condemn the player to the pit - they were out of the game - or nothing happened and the hapless human was safe for another few rounds until they ended up on a "captured" space again. Hours of fun for all the family.

After the TV series was cancelled (before resolving its storyline), 1975 treated us "Apes" fans to animated simians in the form of "Return to the Planet of the Apes". I'm a little vague time-wise on this one as I know I saw the cartoon when I was a child, but I can't be sure exactly when. What I do recall is that it was pretty enjoyable - especially if you watched it every week, as the plot played out across all thirteen episodes. It was also quite different from the films and the live-action TV version. Although the astronaut premise was the same, the ape society was more technologically advanced with cars and their own movies and television channels (resulting in some groan-worthy puns such as "William Apespeare" and "The Apefather". Much later I learned that this was more in line with the original Pierre Boulle novel.

The animation style was pretty basic with limited movement, but the backgrounds were very detailed thanks to the efforts of veteran artist Doug Wildey (another name that I didn't come to know until over a decade later). Sadly it too was cancelled before it's time and the reign of the Apes appeared to be over, apart from a comics series I don't even remember seeing on sale in the early 1990s. Still, it had been a good run.

Of course a really good idea never stays dead for long - not in the 21st Century's nostalgia obsessed, franchise driven society (and yes I am aware of the conflict in that sentence given that this is a nostalgic look back at a decades-spanning franchise) and 2001 gave us Tim Burton's rebooted take on the saga. It was a bit of a poisoned chalice to be fair, having been in development hell for decades and then rushed into production. But even being generous and allowing for all that I've only every watched it twice and that's more than enough. Wooden human characters you don't care about, played by actors who aren't up to the job (Wahlberg vs Heston? Don't make me laugh!) Bloody Helena Bonham-Carter. Oh and let's not forget *that* ending? What were they thinking?!  Is there anything positive I can say about this travesty?....errrr....um.....the makeup is pretty good? Tim Roth is not bad as a pantomime-ish villain? Thank god they never got to make a sequel? I like to think of it as expensive bad fan-fiction - in the canon of the Apes, it doesn't count.

Thankfully in the years since we've had a large number of high quality comics from BOOM! Studios - they even did a crossover with the original Star Trek crew called "The Primate Directive" - plus not one, but *four* incredibly good and very successful "prequel" movies, with more to follow I'm sure, These really have struck the right chord, which thankfully invokes the spirit of the originals while carving their own path - even if part of me still misses the mellifluous voice of Roddy McDowall. The profile of the "Apes" is at it's highest for decades, my interest in undimmed and I eagerly look forward to each new instalment. Long may they continue. For a franchise that's past it's own half century, it still has interesting and relevant things to say about society and mankind and the way we treat each other and the creatures we share this planet with.

"Planet of the Apes" influenced not just me as a little boy, but generations of film lovers, writers, directors, makeup artists, special effects wizards, cinematographers - the list goes on. It's been copied, parodied, blazed it's way across every type of entertainment media (I didn't even mention the vinyl records and video games) and has crossed into mainstream popular culture. Oh and let's not forget, there are not many movies that have spawned two of the most quoted phrases in cinema history.

I'll end this piece with one of my favourite of the "homages" to the majesty of the "Apes" series - it's "The Simpsons" with their very own musical version. starring Troy McClure (you may remember him from such films as "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules" or "Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly")...

"Oooo, Oooo....Doctor Zaius,,,"

Honourable mentions:

• Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey 

Few series have successfully merged science fiction and fantasy quite like the 'Dragonriders of Pern' sequence. The tales of far future colonists reduced to a feudal existence, their telepathic dragons who can fly 'between' and the fight against the all-consuming 'Thread' started here and I was fully invested from page one. The characters (both human and dragon) are vivid, the world-building is exquisite and as a young reader I devoured the first six books in quick succession, with the revelations of the colonists origins and the SF elements introduced carefully and naturally. After McCaffery's death in 2011 the stories have been continued by her children - jumping backwards and forwards in the chronology to fill in the gaps. The latter books are good, but none made quite the same impression as this first story of Lessa and her dragon Ramoth.                    

• Fantastic Voyage

No, not the famous 1966 film about scientists shrunk inside a human body, but the far less well-known Filmation cartoon. It takes the basic concepts and that's about it, instead spinning bizarre 30 minutes tales of eye-patch wearing Commander Jonathan Kidd and his colleagues in the C.M.D.F. (Combined Miniature Defense Force). Across it's mere 17 episodes they faced evil wizards, rampaging toys, bratty children and criminal masterminds. I'll be honest, having seen it again recently, it's not great - but as a child I was captivated by Guru, "master of mysterious powers", the classic designs of the 'Voyager' ship and the shrinking machine - and the brilliant opening title sequence that explains everything you need to know in a mere 70 seconds...

• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

If it hadn't been the year of the Apes, then this classic film would have had the top spot for sure. I adore every single thing about it  - the songs, the production design, the supporting actors (Lionel Jeffries! James Robertson Justice!) and of course that central performance from Dick Van Dyke. The man is a marvel and in a career full of enormous highs, this is my all-time favourite. Plus of course the Child Catcher has become a thing of nightmares embedded in our collective consciousness. It didn't make lots of money on it's original release, the critics have always been a bit sniffy about it and many people prefer 1964's "Mary Poppins". But they are all wrong. Force me to make a choice and I'll pick "Me Ol' Bamboo" as the best song (which according to Van Dyke was the most difficult dancing act he ever undertook) - but they are all marvellous. I fell in love with the film as a child and that love has endured the decades and always will.

• The Banana Splits / Arabian Knights

Even though there were only ever 31 episodes made, this show seemed to be on permanently when I was a child, especially in the school summer holidays. I loved the theme song (All together now... "one banana, two banana, three banana four..."). I liked the zany costumes of Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky. I enjoyed their zany antics and watching them zooming around in the Banana Buggies. But if I'm being truthful, I really came for the cartoon inserts. Less so "The Three Musketeers", but definitely for the ten minutes of fantasy with the "Arabian Knights". Ask me to explain the plot of any of the adventures of Prince Turhan, Princess Nida, Fariik the Magician, Raseem the Strong, shape changing Bez ("Size...of an elephant!") and of course the whirling donkey Zazuum and I'd draw a blank, but I have really fond memories nonetheless. 

Golden Sunsets Redux - 60 Years of Memories - Part 1 - 1967

Way back in the mists of 2017, I started a series of posts designed to celebrate the first 50 years of my life and the things from each year that had been important to me. The problem is, I never finished it. I never even came close. 

It petered out in 2019 at post 32 (1998) - way past my fiftieth birthday - and I'll be honest it's always annoyed me that something so personal and that I spent so much time on was left incomplete.

So with my *60th* birthday just two years away, I've decided to resurrect "Golden Sunsets" and expand it to 60 posts. Between now and - lets say the end of 2027 - I'm going to re-post the previous entries -  with a few tweaks and updates - and finish things off . I reckon that's one new bit of writing every few weeks, which should be do-able.

Let's see how I get on! Without further ado, we are going back to the 'Summer of Love'...

1967:

The trivia:

• According to Article VIII of the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, you can be arrested for a crime committed anywhere in the known universe. The United States and Russia also signed a declaration agreeing not to nuke the Moon.

• On 3rd September, Sweden switched to driving on the right side of the road - an event known as "H-Day". Only essential traffic was allowed and everything stopped at 4:50 AM for 10 minutes, then resumed on the right side at 5:00 AM. In cities the traffic ban lasted for hours so that intersections could be reconfigured, new bus stops unveiled, etc. Railways and the metro system in Stockholm did not switch to the new rule and continued to drive on the left.

• In January, the Beatles recorded a 14-minute avant-garde piece, "Carnival of Light", containing distorted, echo-laden sounds of percussion, keyboards, guitar and vocals. It received its only public airing at the 'Million Volt Light and Sound Rave' held at the Roundhouse venue in London. The track remains unreleased to this day.

• Fuelled by the rise in Spiritualism, the Parker Brother board game "Ouija" sold two million copies in one year - more than "Monopoly". It was marketed as a pleasant game for 8 years and upwards...

• In September, the burning body of tramp Robert Francis Bailey was found in a derelict house in Kennington, London. A blue flame was clearly seen emanating from a slit in his stomach by emergency services that attended the scene - even though his clothes were intact and unaffected by the fire. In later years I will become fascinated with these cases of 'Spontaneous Human Combustion'...

The memory:

KerPlunk

It's a bit of an odd one to start off with, but I wanted to reflect  something appropriate from my first few years on the planet. Of course my recall of those early days is hazy - to be honest it's probably non-existent - and there is no way that I could have played this most famous of games when I was less than twelve months old. But it first came out in 1967 and it's my list, so...

It doesn't matter how much technology we have at our finger tips, what realistic virtual worlds we can plug ourselves into - there is nothing quite so satisfying as watching your younger brother simply pulling on a plastic stick and seeing all the marbles clatter noisily to the ground (well into a plastic tray). It's a perfect example of onomatopoeia - the sound of the marbles is the name of the game!

In summary "KerPlunk" was meant to be a game of skill and hand-eye coordination. Inside the bright blue box you got a yellow plastic tube, thirty thin sticks and thirty-two coloured marbles. Plus a base with numbers on it. You had to insert the sticks through the tiny holes in the yellow tube to form a web of plastic. Then you poured the marbles in at the top. Players then took it in turns to remove one stick without letting any of the marbles fall through. If they did, that player collects them. Once the last marble had fallen, everybody counted up their marbles and the person with the fewest was the winner. You needed a steady hand as you slowly (or quickly) pulled out your stick !

In reality it's not so much skill that was needed as the ability to learn a bit of spatial reasoning  - as you tried to figure out which sticks were holding up which marbles - plus quite a lot of luck. It was a game simple enough for small children to understand yet still fun for those a bit older - until I guess they progressed onto more challenging versions of the concept, such as "Jenga".

The version pictured above is the same as the one we had at home and I remember playing endlessly with my family and friends. I think we first got the game as a present on November 5th - otherwise known in the UK as 'Guy Fawkes Night' or 'Bonfire Night'. Yes, I am aware that November 5th is traditionally the night for fireworks, but in our house, we were usually given the choice of having a few meagre whizz bangs and some sparklers (that would last 15 minutes tops) or a board game of some kind (which we got to enjoy all year). Probably two out of three times we'd pick the game - so we got to play "Haunted House" or "Escape From Colditz" or "Sorry". All classics of the age.

"KerPlunk" is one of those games which never seems to go away. My own children had a set and my younger sisters children have played the same wonderful game (although she was never as mad about it as I was). There have been endless variations in style and colour over the decades - one with a "golden ball" which affects your total score, a 'Toy Story' inspired version using that film's Little Green Men instead of marbles and  even "KerPlunk 2" which apparently has coloured marbles, lights and sounds and a spiral ramp. That feels like sacrilege to me ! 

Although it's not the favourite game from my childhood (I'll come to that I'm sure), it's certainly near the top. Now who's turn is it next?...

Honourable mentions:

Again, all of these things debuted in 1967, even if I did not come across them until much later.

• In Like Flint

He's the super-spy who gets all the girls. The man with all the gadgets and the lethal moves to match. He's name is Jam.....Derek Flint ? Yes, while Mr. Bond may have all the box-office, my heart belongs to James Coburn's super-smooth agent of Z.O.W.I.E (Zonal Organization World Intelligence Espionage). This film (and it's predecessor "Our Man Flint") may be a more comedic take on the 007 franchise, but it's fully aware of it's own ridiculousness and all the better for it. Coburn has always been  one of the coolest actors on screen and with Flint he's in his element. I loved the films from the moment I first saw them and that has only grown over the years. Flints influence continued long after his two outings left the cinema - from the distinctive presidential hotline ringtone being used in both "Hudson Hawk" and "Austin Powers", to the name of the most famous bad guy in "Die Hard" - Hans Gruber. 

• The Prisoner

Another spy, but one very, very different from Mr Derek Flint. What can I really add to the thousands of words written about Patrick McGoohan's secret agent and the physical and psychological experiences he is put through as a resident of "The Village"? Just to say that I was addicted from the first moment of that iconic theme music and opening sequence. I've been to the real village of Portmerion. I've walked on those sands and imagined the Rover balloon coming after me. Daring, surreal, confusing - championing the rights of individuals  ("I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered! My life is my own.") - it is a truly unique piece of television. Often copied but never bettered. An absolute stone cold classic.                                                                                                                                                                    

• Space Hostages by Nicolas Fisk

The pen name of British author David Higginbottom, Fisk wrote a number of science fiction novels for children, including the well-regarded "Grinny". I've never read that book but for some reason my local village library had a copy of "Space Hostages". The basic plot concerns a group of kids who are kidnapped by a critically ill Flight Lieutenant aboard a top secret spacecraft and have to try and pilot the craft home by themselves.  It's not really an SF story, more a character study of the resulting conflict between the nerdish Brylo and the super-confident Tony - a scenario than many school kids could empathise with. Maybe the SF title font and that evocative painting of people running away from a flying saucer triggered my UFO interests of the time. Maybe I was just a sucker for anything with "space" in the title. What I do know is that the story has stayed with my ever since - and when I tracked down a copy many, many years later it still holds up remarkable well.