Golden Sunsets - 50 Years Of Memories - Part 5 - 1971

So what do you get if you mix a number of historical figures with the ideas of resurrection, alien overlords, religion, man's inherent inhumanity to man and ethics? Probably one of the most original and astonishing science fiction ideas ever published and a book series that is in my top twenty of all time.

1971:

The trivia:

• Astronaut Ed Mitchell, who piloted the Apollo 14 lunar module, said of his experience on the moon: "From out there...international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch."

• There is no known written documentation of the word "fajitas" prior to 1971.

• Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to enter the orbit of another planet when it reaches Mars on 14th November.

The item:

To Your Scattered Bodies Go by Philip José Farmer

At the round earth's imagin'd corners, blow
Your trumpets, angels, and arise, arise
From death you numberless infinities
Of souls, and to your scattered bodies go.

7th of the "Holy Sonnets" by John Donne

This was one of those books that I initially purchased on a whim because I was interested by both the cover and the blurb on the back of the paperback. It's the first volume in the phenomenal "Riverworld" saga, which eventually grew to encompass five novels and two collections of short stories. I think I must have originally picked it up in around...hmmmm....1979?. I worked this out because  I know that once I started, it was a book I just could not put down and I sped through it in around three days. I was so absorbed that I immediately went out and bought the other two in the set that had been published to date - only to find that the final (at the time) book had still not been released !

Here's the premise. Millions of years in the future, every single human who has ever lived are resurrected along the banks of an endless winding river. From the earliest Neanderthals through to the 21st century (when 99% of the population was apparently wiped out during a disastrous first contact with aliens from Tau Ceti).  They awaken on the shore naked, but in their bodies as they were at age twenty-five  - and in perfect health. Lost limbs have reappeared, genetic defects and diseases are all cured. Those who died younger than 25 appear in a body from that point of death (and age up to 25), but there is no one under the age of five and children cannot be conceived. Should an individual "die" due to suicide, an accident, or at the hand of someone else, they just resurrect at a different place along the river.

Every person appears with a metal container strapped to their wrist which can only be opened by them. When placed in huge mushroom-shaped "grailstones" which are dotted along the riverbank, and charged via a periodic electricity bolt, these "grails" dispense food, drink, cloth and luxuries such as alcohol, mild drugs, tobacco and "dreamgum" which can induce hallucinations.

At the start there is no technology on this world and metals and ores are almost non-existent. The mountains that rise steeply from the plains are impassable and life exists at a very basic level. But what initially seems like paradise soon turns into anything but, as human greed and violence asserts itself. Thousands of tiny fiefdoms and kingdoms appear along the river - some are peaceful but many are ruled by dictators who put those unfortunate enough to be reborn in their areas into "grail slavery" - giving the poor people only basic rations and keeping the luxuries for themselves.

The renowned colonial explorer Richard Francis Burton (no relation to the actor) awakens in this strange world and he soon surrounds himself with a disparate group of friends from all eras, which includes Alice Lidell (the inspiration for Alice in Wonderland). Burton is unique because he awoke in the "holding space" before resurrection and has seen a glimpse of the race that created Riverworld. Visited by a mysterious figure in the night, Burton is compelled to take his friends and find the source of this endless river  - and confront the "Ethicals" in control. After many trials, including being enslaved by the infamous Nazi Herman Göring, Burton finds himself close to being captured by the Ethicals,so kills himself over and over and over again - each time hoping that he will get closer to the secrets of the tower at the headwaters of the river.

If that doesn't sound fascinating enough, the subsequent books introduce an even wider array of characters both real and fictional and detail their various efforts to discover the reason for humanity's rebirth. Take author Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain). Thanks to the assistance of the Mysterious Stranger, he enlists the help of Viking warlord Eric Bloodaxe, Lothar von Ricthofen (the WWI fighter pilot known as the Red Baron), King John of England and Cyrano de Bergerac to help mine a fallen meteorite and build a huge paddle boat known as the 'Not For Hire'. He intends to sail upriver and find the source of the river. Though it may be millions of miles and his voyage may take centuries, Clemens is determined to find answers.

Through the course of the five novels, Farmer weaves the adventures of a dozen or more famous faces and people from a vast range of cultures and time periods into his huge sweeping narrative. He even writes himself into the storyline in the guise of author Peter Jairus Frigate. The true purpose of the "Ethicals" and their reasons for creating Riverworld are shrouded in mystery and the metaphysical answer challenges everyone's opinions of what it means to be alive. Of course you only really get the full effect of Farmer's imagination if you read the first four books together (I'd argue that you could miss out book five and not lose anything).

Richard Francis Burton is a extraordinary man to choose as the main protagonist. A 19th century explorer, translator, soldier, writer, spy and diplomat, who apparently spoke 29 languages, he was also one of the first Europeans to visit Mecca. Translator of the "1,001 Arabian Nights" stories and the "Karma Sutra". Part of the group who discovered the great African lakes while hunting for the source of the Nile. Burton did all these things and much, much more. You can see why Farmer picked him. Learning about him through his fictitious exploits in the novel, I became fascinated with the real person, seeking out books by him and about him from my local library (this being in the days before the internet of course). I learned many, many interesting facts through reading Philip Jose Farmer's most famous work.

There have been a couple of attempts to turn Farmer's vision into a TV show. The Sci-Fi Channel tried once in 2003 (but only went to a pilot) and then tried again in 2010 as a 4-hour TV movie. Both version are very flawed and hampered by both the lack of budget  and the fact that the producers just don't seem to really *get* the concept or the characters. Burton is turned into an American astronaut in the first attempt and then becomes the villain in the second. That's no way to treat one of the greatest explorers of the 19th century !

Despite the fantastical setting and the SF concepts that are explored, the novels paint a disturbing picture of mankind. No matter the circumstances, we seem to degenerate into the worst examples of our species. There will always be those who want power and wealth and will do whatever it takes to obtain it. Looking back now I can see that Farmers writing is very description-heavy and perhaps veers into a pulp style sometimes  - but that's okay, I've grown to really appreciate that genre (and like Farmer, I love the stories about Tarzan, Doc Savage, The Shadow and the like)  Some may also find the occasional violent scenes unpalatable, but I don't think that it's gratuitous and it's all within the context of the heaven / hell world the author has created.

It is worth mentioning that Farmer also created two other unique fictional settings that are worth looking into. First there is the "World of Tiers" which features a series of artificially created pocket universes and one specifically which contains a planet consisting of cylindrical layers stacked on top of each other to form an enormous cone-shaped tower. The other series is "Dayworld", set in a dystopian future where overpopulation is solved by allowing people to exist for only one day a week - the rest of the time they are in suspended animation. However there are a few individuals who are 'Daybreakers' - living seven different lives across the week and working to destabilise the system. If you like high concept science fiction, Farmer is the man to go for. Some brilliant covers by Chris Foss too.

When I was young and first read them, I found "To You Scattered Bodies Go" and it's sequels to be brilliant pieces of science fiction with plenty to say about the human condition. Despite their age and changing tastes and moralities, I still think they stand up amazingly well today.

Honourable mentions:

• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - a gold-plated five-star classic (despite what Roald Dahl thinks). Gene Wilder. Oompa-Loompas. That boat tunnel sequence. The songs. Hideous children getting their comeuppance. How can you not love this film? The Burton remake isn't even worthy to shine its shoes.

• Mr Benn - to a certain generation, the phrase "As if by magic, the Shopkeeper appeared" immediately transports us back to a period when all of space and time was accessible via the door of a changing room. This wasn't "Doctor Who", it was a little man in a bowler hat who went on the most incredible animated adventures. The nation's children took him to their hearts and he became a national institution.  

Golden Sunsets - 50 Years of Memories - Part 4 - 1970

This time I'm looking at a movie that was musical, educational, entertaining, odd and just a little bit scary...

1970:

The trivia:

• Author Joe Klaas alleged that aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart had survived her attempted flight round the world in 1937 and changed her identity to Irene Craigmile Bolam, a New York banker. The book was only pulled when Bolam sued.
• When the Oregon Highway Division attempted to blow up a dead sperm whale that washed ashore using half a ton of dynamite, the resulting exlosion threw whale carcass over 800 feet away, crushing cars and narrowly missing onlookers.
• The Royal Navy only stopped serving daily rum rations on 31st July 1970. The last day was called "Black Tot Day" and was marked by mock funerals and black armbands.

The item:

The Phantom Tollbooth

Billed as an "Alphabeautiful, Mathemagical Musical", this film is based on the 1961 children's book of the same name by Norton Juster (which is apparently a modern American classic, although somehow I have never read it). It's predominately famous because it was co-written, produced and directed by animation legend Chuck Jones - the man who was responsible for some of the all-time great Warner Brother "Looney Tunes" featuring Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Wile E. Coyote. It also featured the absolute cream of animations voice talent. Famous names such as "Man of a Thousand Voices" Mel Blanc (Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester the Cat, Barney Rubble), Daws Butler (Yogi Bear, Fred Flintstone, Huckleberry Hound) Hans Conried (Captain Hook) and June Foray (Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Tweety Pie's owner, Granny). It's also notable as the last animated film by MGM.

It's unlikely many people will have seen this film in recent years  - and even less probably remember it -  so I'm going to go through the story in some detail. It'll help when I get to the end, so please indulge me.

Milo (played by Butch Patrick from "The Munsters") lives and goes to school in San Francisco but  just seems to dawdle through life not seeing what's around him. Everything is "a big waste of time". Spending another dull afternoon in his apartment on the phone to his friend Ralph, he suddenly notices a huge red and white striped parcel in his bedroom. Attached to the outside is an envelope which reads "For Milo, who has plenty of time". Opening it up he discovers a note which directs him to pull a tab if he is bored, which of course he does. The parcel transforms into a talking tollbooth and before he knows what is happening, Milo is seated inside a child-sized sports car. Told to pick a destination from a map, he asks for the "Castle in the Air" and as he drives through the tollbooth he finds himself transformed into a cartoon and transported via a swirling coloured vortex onto a twisting turning road.

Suddenly he is accosted by Officer Short Shrift, a tiny policeman riding about on one wheel . Shrift is a proto-Judge Dredd - possessing a huge chin with his upper face hidden by a helmet. He is cop, judge and jailer - believes everyone is guilty  until proven innocent - and hands out excessive sentences for minor misdemeanours. Thankfully  Milo gets off with just a short sentence for his "crimes" - a piece of paper with the words "I am".

Driving into the town of Expectations, Milo then meets the Whether Man, who never gives a straight answer and hates to make up his mind. Words have lost their meaning. He really gives no clear help before rising off into the sky attached to a number of balloons. 

Continuing on the same road for what seems like hours, Milo starts to drift asleep and doesn't pay attention as he takes the wrong turn into "The Doldrums". Inside the dank caves live the amoeba-like ghostly Lethargians who never think and are happy doing anything as long as it's...nothing. They convince Milo that he should stay with them and slowly his car sinks into the mass of creatures as their comical grins turn nasty - they want to stop the boy doing anything at all - eating, sleeping or even breathing...

Milo is only saved from this fate by the arrival of Tock the watchdog who genuinely has a huge pocket watch in his stomach. Tock gets Milo to use his brain and think, which rebuilds the car and the pair are able to escape before a tidal wave of Lethargians engulfs them.

Tock believes that time is a gift and your friend and taking an hour to do something can change the world. He explains to Milo that he is in the Kingdom of Wisdom, which used to be a happy place until the death of the old king and it was split into two. This is now a land ruled by two warring brothers - King Azaz the Unabridged of Dictionopolis whose believes that words are more important than numbers, and the Mathemagician of Digitopolis, who holds the opposite view. Their refusal to agree on anything has led the kingdom into confusion and there are demons gathering in the Mountains of Ignorance just waiting to pounce.

Travelling towards Dictionopolis the new friends come across the mad Doctor Kakofonous A. Dischord, who loves loud objectionable sounds and wants to encourage Milo to stop hearing pleasant noises ever again, thanks to a bottle of medicine and the help of his cloud-like accomplice, the Awful Dynne. While the doctor is distracted by the terrible noise he is making, they sneak out of his larger-on-the-inside caravan and Tock grabs a vial of Laughter tonic.

Arriving in Dictionopolis they enter the Marketplace of Words and encounter The Spelling Bee (who can spell any word in any language from anywhere) and The Humbug, an ignorant schyster who loves the sound of his own voice. When the pair of insects war of words escalates into a duel which wrecks the market, Officer Short Shrift puts in an appearance and sentences everyone to the dungeons for six million years.

Inside the dungeon they find the no-so-wicked Which, Faintly Macabre, sister of the Whether Man and she tells Milo the secret history of the kingdom and how the twin princesses Rhyme and Reason were banished to the Castle in the Air after they told Azaz and the Mathemagician that words and numbers were equal.

Milo and his new friends are suddenly taken to the court of King Azaz for a banquet where they literally have to eat their own words. Listening to the King bemoan the fact that life means nothing anymore, Milo convinces the monarch to let him rescue Rhyme and Reason and Tock and The Humbug will accompany him. Before he leaves, Azaz gives Milo a huge bag of words which contains all the ideas anyone can think of.

Beginning their quest, the trio follow the road until it is blocked by a stone doorway leading into the Numbers Mine, where gem-like numerals are dug from the rock. Above the entrance they spot The Dodecahedron, who wears twelve different faces displaying twelve different emotions. He helps Milo break down the door by encouraging him to use mathematics. Inside the mine they finally meet the Mathemagician and it's clear that he is the exact double of King Azaz, just with an opposing opinion. Leading the adventurers to his highly computerised workshop, he reveals that he blames Azaz for nothing making sense anymore (sound familiar?), but when Milo makes him realise that at least the pair agree to disagree, he sends them on with their journey - but not before giving Milo a magic pencil..

Heading towards the Mountains of Ignorance, Milo, Tock and Humbug come across Chroma, the last sane man in the world who conducts the sunrises and sunsets. When Humbug eggs Milo on to have a go at directing the sunrise, it ends in disaster and the sky becomes a constant battleground between the Sun and the Moon. Running from their mistake they are stopped in their tracks by the Senses Taker, an information obsessed paper pusher who wants to remove all their senses. Tock uses the vial he took from Doctor Dischord to engulf the weasely man in fits of giggles. After all, no one can take away your sense of humour.

Climbing the mountains, they have to face a number of even more bizarre obstacles. First is the Terrible Trivium - a faceless, bowler hatted man with detached body parts. He is the demon of petty tasks and wants to delay them with things like picking up grains of sand. Running away, all three fall into a trap created by what sounds like a terrible monstrous creature, only to find it is really just a pathetic ball of fur with a loud voice - the Demon of Insincerity. Finally the dim-witted Gelatinous Giant is defeated by that unusual bag of ideas and just melts away into sludge.

Almost at the doors of the Castle in the Air, they are blocked by the hordes of the Demons of Ignorance -  which include the Horrible Hopping Hindsight, the Gorgons of Hate and Malice, the Threadbare Excuse and worst of all the Overbearing Know-It-All. Using the magic pencil and the the bag of words together, Milo forces them back, drawing every weapon he needs and loading them with physical words. The demons merge to form a giant monster but the power of the word "Truth" disperses them into their component parts. Sadly Tock's pocket watch is damaged in the battle and Milo has to leave him and Humbug behind.

Ascending the invisible steps to the Castle, Milo finally meets the Princesses and learns they were the ones who sent for him because only a boy that was so bored he would do anything would be able to rescue them. Unable to get down, Milo spies the Whether Man and uses his balloons to get back to his friends, while Rhyme and Reason transform the kingdom back to the beautiful place it once was. Tock is repaired, Officer Shrift now thinks everyone is innocent and the Doctor is  a student of harmony not discord. Even the sky is fixed.

Having saved the day, Milo gets to go home back through the tollbooth, which folds itself up and flies out of the window. With a newfound enjoyment of life and all its little pleasures, Milo discovers that only five minutes has past and Ralph is still on the phone, although... what's  that strange red and white striped box that has just turned up in his bedroom?...

As you can tell from the synopsis above, the story is full of irony, double entendre, puns and wordplay. It might be billed as an animated action adventure but it has a hugely educational and moral message. Not only does Milo  gain a new love of learning and practically apply the things from school that he previously thought were dull, he also rediscovers a love of life. It's also a commentary on the need for common sense and for rules (without Rhyme or Reason, the Kingdom of Wisdom descends into anarchy) and about learning from ones own mistakes. But it never descends into heavy-handed preaching

Of course the film can be compared to "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" since both feature a child thrust into a world of absurd logic. The Whether Man's ramblings could be the Cheshire Cat and Officer Short Shrift's extreme justice is similar to that of the Queen of Hearts (although with more jail-time and less head chopping). The film has elements of "The Wizard of Oz", but parts (especially Chroma, the conductor of sunsets) also reminded me of the "Sorcerer's Apprentice" segment. from Disney's "Fantasia".

The animation is a curious mish-mash of styles. There are some classic wonderful Chuck Jones creations with the lead characters and Milo himself has those big eyes from Pepe Le Pew, Elsewhere some of the monsters seem almost half finished - just outlines with no real definition as if  they are not really there. Maybe that was deliberate. The backgrounds are also a mix of detailed buildings, half rendered shapes and abstract squiggles, perhaps representing the fluidity of the Kingdom as it flounders without any rules.

Now you might think that I've got amazing recall about a film I watched as a kid, but the truth is as part of writing this I watched it for the first time in over thirty years just this afternoon  - and I still found it as psychedelic and magical and entertaining as ever.  The thing is, I principally remember this film because as much as I enjoyed the inventive animation and the sheer artistry on display, it actually scared me enough to cause a few nights of lost sleep. The Lethargians in the green slime of the region of "The Doldrums"  - those fluid, amorphous shapes that split and reform as they ooze around their domain with a wet sucking sound? - as a child I found them terrifying. Even their song, "Don't Say There's Nothing To Do In the Doldrums" was spooky.

These evil denizens haunted my sleeping hours. I dreamt I was being sucked under the surface, their beady eyes and reedy voices laughing as they piled their sludge on top of me, trapping me forever. I remember waking up with a loud scream - convinced that I was lost in the Doldrums. Even now all these decades later, if I have strange or unpleasant dreams, I wake myself up by shouting - much to the concern of my ever so patient wife. (oh and trust me, I do dream a *lot* - I should write a book about my weird nocturnal imaginings!).

At the end of the day it may not be up there with the all time famous animated movies and some might find the moralising message laid on too thick, but you can't fault the imagination of the source material and the wonderful way that Chuck Jones adapted it to the big screen. It's a bit of a lost classic really. The book's author may have hated it (especially when it was well reviewed) but for me the characters have always been part of a really strong vivid memory, and that's why it deserves a place on this list.

Honourable mentions:

So I've decided to add this section to just acknowledge other things that were important to me and came out in this specific year, but won't get a full entry - at least not in this strand. Some might have been written about already or will be covered elsewhere at a later date. If I have the time I will go back and add this to the first three years.

• Dougal and the Blue Cat - the feature length story with the characters from the hugely popular classic "Magic Roundabout" series. I've already talked abut the soundtrack album here but one day I'll get round to the episodes and movie itself.

• The Goodies - I adored the madcap adventures of Grahame Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie. Although the show debuted in 1970, the golden age is really in 1972 through to 1975 with "Kitten Kong", "The Goodies and the Beanstalk", "Kung-Fu Kapers","The Movies" and "Gunfight at the OK Tearooms". It was a travesty that only a handful of episodes were available to buy...until 2019 that is - now every surviving episode is on shiny DVD and I can revel in the trio that "do anything - anytime"...

I Saw Elvis In A Potato Chip Once 4 - The X-Files 1.04 - Conduit

It;s a historic moment. After a mere three weeks, we have now reached the point where I have not seen an episode of the show. From this point onward it's all unknown territory - a mystery inside an enigma inside a puzzle. What horrors and delights await me? I can't wait to find out.

Episode 1.04 - "Conduit"

So we are handed another piece of the "X-Files" jigsaw, as the mystery of Mulder's sister and her supposed abduction by...something...comes into focus. Beyond the mystery of Ruby Morris's disappearance from a campsite, we also get an interesting view into Mulder's psyche  - the doubt, self-blame and ultimately faith -  that's behind the jovial and laid-back exterior. It's not a fantastic episode, but I can imagine that the core of it will become quite important as the series progresses...

The main plot itself is a fairly standard police procedural for most of the running time, with Mulder being particularly good at the old interrogation two-step. There is also a nice bond forming between the two FBI agents, and the fact that Mulder finally opens up about the emotional fallout from his sister (apparently) vanishing right in front of him at such a tender young age shows that he is starting to trust Scully more and more - even if she is still sympathetic but sceptical.

I have to admit being slightly frustrated that we didn't get any kind of explanation as to why the aliens were sending binary code to Ruby's brother, unless it was just a incredibly oblique way of them saying "Look, we are intelligent and we have your sister - everything's going to be fine". The NSA agents also seemed to be really heavy-handed at the start (would they really cause such wanton destruction in a poor little child's bedroom?) and then basically...give up. 

Even though it's a little odd, I did love the bait and switch at the end where the viewer is made to think the blinding light and noise is the aliens returning, only for it to be the local biker gang out for a late night cruise. Their appearance does kind of make sense as the bartender did briefly mention that the gang liked to go down to the lake to chug some beers and do whatever bikers like to do in the woods in the middle of the night.

Ultimately I think that while the "A" plot doesn't really go anywhere - Ruby vanishes, M&S investigate, some odd stuff happens, she comes back - or tell us anything about our alien visitors, it's the "B" plot concerning the emotional resonance with Mulder's own experiences and our peek into what drives him that makes this worthwhile. Oh and Scully get's to look beautifully tousled in bed and Mulder gets to wear a natty paisley tie.

Other thoughts and facts:

• The whole opening scene in the camper van is *such* a homage to "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" that I almost expected screws to start unwinding from the worktops.  There's a small amount of "Jurassic Park" in there too. 
• The State of Iowa has had it's fair share of UFO sightings over the years and there really is a Lake Okoboji (actually there are two). Sadly there have been no alien abductions in the vicinity, although there is a rumour of a monster in the lake  - described as a giant dark green fish with a head like a bowling ball.
• Whoever bandaged Mrs Morris' hand after that door knob burn went a bit over the top - it's like a giant white boxing glove.
• When young Kevin shows Mulder his pad full of  binary notation, it's clear that the first dozen of so lines were written by someone else before the kid was allowed the pen.
• It's Spielberg homage a-go-go with the static filled TV screen straight out of "Poltergeist". The young lad is no where near as creepy as sweet little Carol Anne though...

• The biker bar Mulder and Scully go into to get information on Greg Randall couldn't be more cliched  if it tried. Leather and studs is obviously where it's at in Iowa.
• The bartender's tattoo's look great - apart from the UFO which looks like a five year old drew it. I'd want a refund.
• He's also the actor who played "Ogre" in the teen comedy "Revenge of the Nerds" from 1984. I watched that film a *lot* back when I was a mere seventeen years old.
• Back in the FBI offices when the analyst decodes Kevin's doodlings, he reveals that they contain fragments of a number of different images and sounds including a DNA double helix, DaVinci's "Universal Man" and the Brandenberg Concertos. All of these things (and much more) are on the golden disc's attached to the 'Voyager' spacecraft that were launched in 1977.
• Do they really have white wolves in Iowa? Those ones are just stunningly beautiful.
• I have to admit, it's a pretty cool "A-ha" moment that all those zeroes and ones make a picture of the missing Ruby. It reminds me of a time when I was in school detention and the teacher gave us a piece of graph paper and made us put X's in all the little boxes as a tedious punishment. Needless to say everyone starting creating pictures or rude words and suchlike - only to have to quickly fill them in with hundreds of X's as the teacher returned...

I also discovered during the writing of this short piece that the concept of someone seeing or hearing a message that translated into a string of ones and zeroes was also used in a 1995 episode of the revival of "The Outer Limits", so something must have been in the water that TV writers were drinking in the mid-90s. 

The Book Tower 7 - Planet Story by Harry Harrison

There are some books which make you question the world and your place in it - that have a profound and fundamental effect on you. There are some books which make you laugh uproariously or cry real tears of joy or sadness. There are some books which are just rollicking good adventures and there are some which are just so infused with a memory of a time and place that simply looking at the cover brings a smile to your face. This book is all of those things. This is:

Planet Story

I can clearly remember when I first came across this most unusual book. I was twelve years old and on a trip to Sudbury, Suffolk for the weekend....

It's fair to say that Sudbury was my second childhood home. My maternal grandparents black & white 450-year-old terraced cottage is still there on Church Street (although the front door is now red, which seems very odd). We went there very regularly and when I was younger my brother and I stayed with my grandparents for two weeks of the summer holidays in between school terms. We had days out to local places of interest, trips hiking across the lush green water meadows full of cows and fun exploring the towns many narrow alleyways and disused railway lines. Plus we visited every bookshop, newsagent, "jumble" sale and  second-hand book seller in the quest for any comics and books to read. It was a peaceful, idyllic time with memories that I cherish. I knew Sudbury almost as well as the village in which I grew up. Even now I just have to think back to that time and I can recall the smell of the papers as I entered the newsagent on Friar Street. My grandfather passed away when I was nine, but we continued to visit my grandmother once a month.

As I said, it was on one of these monthly trips when I was browsing through the science fiction section of my favourite shop that I first spotted a new book by American author Harry Harrison. I've mentioned very briefly before about my love of his work, especially his long sequence of  "Stainless Steel Rat" novels featuring master criminal 'Slippery' Jim DiGriz -  the first of which was released in 1961, six years before I was born. To be honest I think the first six or so are the best, but then again I might be influenced by the excellent adaptions of books one, three and five that appeared in 2000 AD in the early to mid-1980s.

I'll probably write more about the man himself at some point, but Harrison also published many other novels (both humorous and serious) in his extensive and successful career. The hard-hitting "Deathworld" trilogy, the Hollywood SF satire "The Technicolor Time Machine", the space opera parody "Star Smashers of the Galaxy Rangers" (which is even more fun if you are familiar with the 'Lensman' books by EE 'Doc' Smith), the alternative history "Eden" series and of course "Make Room! Make Room!", which explored the consequences of unchecked population growth and famously was (loosely) adapted into the film "Soylent Green" starring Chartlon Heston. However in 1979, Harrison released something different - a tongue in cheek, innuendo laden short story, accompanied by lavish full colour illustrations from an up-and-coming artist.

His name? Jim Burns.

Even if the name doesn’t ring any bells, there is a good chance that any SF fan over the last few decades, will have encountered more of his art than they realise. Burns has worked on movies (including Blade Runner), games, and books and his shelves are full of trophies, including multiple Hugo Awards and numerous British Science Fiction Awards.

Burns had been preoccupied with drawing science fiction imagery every since he was a child in South Wales in the 1950s, growing up with the inspirations of the technological marvel of early television and those first SF themed productions on radio - plus the burgeoning space race as Sputnik 1 and Yuri Gagarin expanded man's horizons into the cosmos. Comics fed into the mix too, especially the classic "Eagle" and the character of Dan Dare, Pilot of the Future.

In fact Britain's premier space hero kind-of led to the young Jim deciding to join the Royal Air Force in 1966 instead of going to art school . However, space pilot Burns was not meant to be as despite getting to fly solo in 'Chipmunk' and 'Provost' jet planes, his RAF career only lasted a brief 18 months. Returning to his first love, Burns spent four years studying, first at Newport College of Art in South Wales and then St. Martin's School of Art in London.

Somewhere along that journey, amongst all the student parties, he succeeded in turning a passionate hobby into a burgeoning career and in 1972 got his first professional science fiction commission for an anthology called "Towards Infinity". His hyper-detailed style of advanced machinery and spaceships, exotic life forms and somewhat erotically-charged humanoids became popular with certain publishers and numerous book covers for authors like Jack Vance and Robert Silverberg followed during the early 1970s. But big-time success and recognition alluded him, until a certain Mr Harry Harrison came on the scene.

But "Planet Story" wasn't the first time that Harrison had used paintings by Jim Burns. In 1978 he published "Mechanismo" - a look at possible (and improbable) technologies that may one day exist. This wasn't a prose story, more a collection of images, engineers technical drawings and detailed specifications of things that might come to be. The book postulated a century where inter-galactic space travel had arrived, "biotic" robots were the norm and cities in space existed alongside vast troop carriers and time machines.

Burns was only one of many artists represented, although he did have fifteen pages including the front cover. The large format book also included excellent work from SF stalwarts such as Bob Layzell, Alan Daniels, Chris Achilleos, Angus McKie, Ralph McQuarrie and even H.R.Giger. It was a visual treat for the eyes for any SF fan . I actually didn't get a copy until a few years after I discovered Jim's work in "Planet Story", but it's still a treasured possession.

But let's get back to that bookshop in Sudbury in 1979. Dominating the science fiction shelves was a very large softcover book This thing was BIG (11 inches or 28cm square) - far bigger than anything I'd bought before, even my treasured "Visual Encyclopedia of Science Fiction". Glaring up at me from the front cover was a severe-looking man in a black military uniform, clutching a wicked looking riding crop, while a massive spaceship hovered in the background. The back cover blurb promised an "...epic tale of a doughty bank of space pioneers who forge a railroad across Strabismus, the frontier of space..." (no, at the time I didn't know what the name of the planet really meant - it just sounded really alien - like...Slartibartfast).

Cracking open the pages I was confronted with some of the most spectacular SF-themed illustrations I had ever seen - green scaled  monster lizards, giant crustaceans, exotic vistas, what looked like an airship and a steam train -  and very attractive voluptuous women. There were chapter headings such as " Enter RRARG" or "Styreen and the Big Boy". I *had* to have this book !

The problems was that it was an eye -watering £ 5.50, which was a lot of money to a youngster in the late 1970s, when paperback novels were generally only around  the £ 1.50 mark at most (less if you bought them second hand as I often did). Undaunted, I poured out my saved "pocket money" and any cash I had been given by my grandmother onto the counter. There was enough - just. Clutching my prize I scooted back to the cottage and settled into a deckchair in the tiny walled sunlit garden. Marvelling at the unbelievable detail on the opening double page image of a dilapidated looking spaceship, I began to read. Chapter One: "Exile To Strabismus"...

"Planet Story" is the tale of Private Parrts (yes, I know - trust me it's more of the same from here on in so get used to it). Parrts is the lowest of the low, a Trooper on board the warship "Excrable" as it zooms through space on its mission as part of the war between the United States of Earth and well, everything else that's alien. Everyone is included in the imperialistic war effort. His father was drafted seven seconds after Parrts had been conceived and the boy grew up in a Home for Future Troopers, dreaming of a career in exobiology just because it carried the highest military disqualification.

Everything was quiet until Parrts hit puberty and discovered that he had a rather unusual curse - he exuded overpowering sexuality and *everything* loved him - girls, dogs, horses, cattle, the ugliest old man and the sweetest young child all only desired one thing from him. Life becomes a nightmare and when he spurned the affections of the hideous crone running the draft board, Parrts found himself reclassified and immediately spat out into the war -  doomed to spend his life as a button pusher, staying out of sight and avoiding the constant sexual desires of  his fellow Troopers.

This is where our tale begins. Sent to the Over-Sergeant for unknowingly sowing dissension in the ranks, the poor Private has to turn down *his* advances too and in a fit of  pique the toad-like Sergeant assigns him to the mostly-automated resupply base on the planet Strabismus under the command of Colonel Kylling - the most feared man in the military.

Parrts is horrified. The Cro-Magnon Kylling is so evil that his riding crop is actually the mummified and shrunken corpse of a Trooper and he delights in torture, bigotry, flagellation  and sadism. Terror turns to delight however when it turns out that Kylling is so devolved that he is immune to Parrts' pheromones. Our hero is overjoyed - here at last he can find peace...

Leaving the Colonel to brood about new and interesting ways to torture things. Parrts plans a quiet existence - and all is well until a transport capsule drops the seedy-looking Professor Shlek onto Strabismus to carry out a planetary survey. The Trooper fends off the Prof's salacious intentions (the sequined jockstrap, black dress, fake breasts and red wig don't really help matters) and the survey is over in just a few hours. It seems to be a waste of time until a huge deposit of Lortium is discovered - a transplutonic element essential to powering the warships of the U.S.E. fleet (and at this point I'm starting to think that James Cameron stole parts of the plot for "Avatar"...)

Enter RRAGG. The RailRoad And Ground Grader is dropped on the planet to build a track to the north pole location of the Lortium. This gigantic self-aware machine (admittedly with the sense of a three year-old) will cross gorges, ford rivers and drill tunnels through mountain ranges. A demon of destruction spewing out steel track from it's nether regions. it will carve a path through the planet. RRAGG will stop for nothing and no-one - especially as it's control lever has been set to "UNINHABITED".

It's not long before RRAGG's builder - and self-confessed train nut -  Admiral Soddy, arrives to inspect his pet's handiwork and to drive a replica locomotive on the newly laid track. He is accompanied by the voluptuous and desirable exolinguist, Lieutenant Styreen Fome, She is every mans dream - including surprisingly, Private Parrts -  who finds himself passionately attracted to someone else for the first time:-

"My name is Styreen", a husky, sensuous voice sussurated. "What's yours, handsome?"
"Private Parrts, ma'am."
"Yes, I've got them and I hope you have too. You're fast but I like it. Look here."
She slowly opened the closure of her jacket as she spoke and the pink protuberances of her breasts swelled out like twin dirigibles emerging from the same hanger. "Dive in," she husked.

Okay, okay - I'll admit, the above image did have an effect on me. I was a twelve year old boy in 1979 - what did you expect? It certainly wasn't what I had been imagining would be in a science fiction book. I'm still not sure that my mum would have let me buy it had she seen the pictures first! Ahem. Moving swiftly on...

The story continues in a similar humorous tongue-in-cheek vein, as the train and it's passengers discover the extent of RRAGG's destruction of the indigenous people and their towns and cities. As one can imagine, they receive a less than friendly welcome. Luckily the sensuous Ms. Fome speaks 657 languages (via hynpo-injection) and is able to parlay with Kroakr, king of the lizard-like Slimey's. It turns out he's not too bothered about the mess RRAGG caused (it only went through the poor district after all) and is willing to forgive and forget if the humans help them in their war against invading giant lobsters from space - the Gornisthilfen.

What follows though is a a madcap race across the surface of Strabiusmus and a game of cross and double-cross as Parrts and his colleagues discover that the Slimeys want to eat everyone in sight and the Gornisthilfen just want to live in peace (even after the good ole United States of Earth destroyed their planet and turned it into a car park). Meeting ever more outlandish alien creatures on their journey northwards and trying not to make things even worse, all Parrts and Fome want to do is find a quiet corner and...well, you can guess the rest.

As with much of Harrison's less serious work, there are some broad satirical swipes at capitalism, the military and - despite what you might think from that image above and others within the book - sexism. Throw in some slightly mangled Yiddish phrases as alien names and a smattering of his beloved Esperanto (which I'd recommend translating) and you have a fun little story. It's not quite "Hitch Hikers" levels of funny but then very few things are.

What makes it worthwhile compared to other humourous stories of the period is of course the art. To be honest the story is really only there as a vehicle for Jim Burns to go crazy and show off his incredible, consistently inventive talent. It was just mind-blowing to a youngster like me. I poured over every page and memorised every alien species. There are a few instances where an illustration is repeated on a following page in close up  - which gives a great way of examining the Jim's almost obsessional attention to fine detail.

Although I was already into comics, I think this was the book that made me interested in SF artwork in it own right and I began to recognise artists work on the covers of novels. Over the decades I must have purchased dozens of books with covers by Jim - I can see some of them right now as I look over at my bookshelves. Certain pieces of his work have been used repeatedly over the many years of his career.

"Planet Story" is still part of my collection after all these years and I doubt I will ever be able to let go of it. It's too tied up with happy memories of halcyon days spent with people I loved and when I seemed to have all the time in the world to read and read and read. You can pick up a copy of the book for only a few pounds. If you love SF art in any way or want to see the result of an unusual pairing of writer and illustrator, I really do recommend it. I'm off to take another look right now...

Random Ravings 4 - The Testament Of Arkadia

As I have been on some long plane journeys recently, I managed to catch up on a couple of recent (ish) movie releases.

Jack Reacher - Never Go Back

I like Tom Cruise, I really do. He's made some truly brilliant movies in the last decade. This sadly isn't one of them. It's the kind of hokey action movie that lesser stars were making around 20 years ago. A by-the-numbers plot about clearing the name of an Army colleague spliced with a generic soap opera storyline concerning a young girl who may or may not be Reacher's daughter - it all felt so...predictable.

Sure Tom tries his best with the material, looking suitable intense and gritty. The thing is, the main character is a bit of a dull bore to be honest so there is little to work with. There are a few violent and wince-inducing stunts which make you wonder how he hasn't broken every bone in his body, but dare I say it? - The Cruiser is actually starting to look a bit flabby around the middle. In the main this is lazy, formulaic stuff - it's certainly not as good as the first movie in the series - and that was just about above average.

My wife is a big Reacher fan, having read all the Lee Child books, but even she struggled to think of something positive to say after we watched it. It doesn't linger in the memory. Perhaps Tom should stick to science fiction as he's been in three of my favourite movies in that genre. Based on this outing he should certainly...never go back...to Jack Reacher.


The Jungle Book

When I first heard that Disney was mining their back catalogue of animated classics to produce "live action" versions, I inwardly groaned. Were there no new ideas any more? Does everything need to be a remake or a reboot or a sequel ? (Okay I know that there are lots of original films out every year, but the major studios do seem to be particularly risk adverse lately). But when I watched this umpteenth version "The Jungle Book" I have to say I was really pleasantly surprised.

I suppose the fact that it was produced and directed by Jon Favreau (of "Zathura" and the first "Iron Man" fame) should have given me an inkling that this was not going to be some half-hearted cash-in.

As you would expect, it stays pretty true to the well-loved story of the cartoon version but adds in a bit more depth from the source book by Rudyard Kipling (particularly around the wolf pack). The big update is obviously the visuals and boy-oh-boy is the CGI amazing. The entire film was made on a studio lot, but you would never know. The jungle feels vibrant and alive, and the animals ? - if you thought the tiger in "Life of Pi" was good, this is a whole other level. It's a testament to the hordes of programmers that they have integrated just one human boy (Neel Sethi makes an excellent Mowgli) so seamlessly into a world created almost entirely out of pixels.

A film featuring anthropomorphised CGI animals obviously needs a good voice cast and in the main I think they pull it off. Bill Murray is as laid back as you would imagine as Baloo the bear and Sir Ben Kingley brings his understated clipped tones to Bagheera. The highlight is Christopher Walken as King Louie - now classified as a Gigantopithicus ape. He plays Louie as a kind of Mafia gangster which basically allows him to be himself and give full reign to his uniquely identifiable speech patterns.

Scarlet Johansson as Kaa the python is okay as an inversion of the original silky smooth performance by Sterling Holloway. What is less successful (at least for me) is turning the terrifying tiger Shere Khan into a North East London bovver boy by using the voice of Idris Elba. It was very jarring to hear his rough accent coming from a character I always associate with being so refined. Maybe that was the point, but it just didn't seem right.

I have read some reviews that commented on the inclusion of a couple of the songs from the 1967 version as being unnecessary, but I thought they worked well within the context of the story and certainly didn't turn it into an out-and-out musical. It was more a nice homage that brought a grin to my face.

Overall then it's a fun, highly successful "refresh" of the classic story for a new generation with enough nostalgic touches to satisfy the oldsters like me. It will be interesting to see if Disney's other upcoming live action versions of their properties are as good. Emma Watson as Belle in "Beauty and the Beast"? That I'm not so sure about...

I Saw Elvis In A Potato Chip Once 3 - The X-Files 1.03 - Squeeze

After what was effectively a two-part pilot, the show diverts off into scary, atmospheric territory with the first "monster" episode - and what an absolute belter it is, setting the bar extremely high for future stand-alone stories. I was so engrossed in watching that I almost forgot to make any notes. That means this is going to be a short write up. The other problem is, I'm now looking at the air vent in this hotel room with suspicion. Is that a pair of eyes behind the grill?...

Episode 1.03 - "Squeeze"

I have two somewhat irrational fears that have their roots in my childhood. One is of dark constricted spaces, stemming from an incident where I thought I was going to get stuck in an underground sewer pipe (don't ask). The other is of being alone in the pitch darkness and "something" coming out of the blackness to get me (Dad, that one's on you thanks to a prank you played when I was five). The fact that this weeks "villain" makes his home in tight air ducts and pipes, emerging only to take another victim, really tapped into that. If it had been me instead of Scully waiting in the apartment and hearing noises in the walls, I'd have been a gibbering wreck.

Eugene Victor Tooms is a brilliantly grotesque character, played with real menace by Doug Hutchinson. That wide-eyed reptilian stare as he laviciously eyes up another victim and salivates about feasting on their still warm liver... it's truly horrible. The fact that Tooms hardly says a word throughout the whole episode only adds to his creepiness. Oh and that nest made out newspaper and bodily fluids? Absolutely disgusting.

As much as Eugene is an unsettling presence, I can also see that the writers were continuing to build the Mulder and Scully dynamic. There is still the slant that Mulder is the looney-tune fantasist and the butt of jokes from others in the Bureau, but this is the first time that his theories are proved right and the perpetrator is caught (pretty quickly too for someone who has evaded the law for decades). This is also the first episode where Scully makes a stand and chooses to support Mulder against the ridicule and skepticism of her fellow FBI agents. A young Donal Logue (who has found recent fame as Harvey Bullock in Batman prequel "Gotham") plays the career obsessed agent that calls Scully in to advise on his "spooky" case with real sneering gusto. You start off warming to him, but by the end realise that he's a really nasty piece of work.

Other thoughts while watching:

• Mulder mentions "Reticula" as the home of "Grey"aliens. Zeta Reticuli is a genuine binary star system which has a history of being part of UFOlogy conspiracy theories. It's also where the aliens that supposedly crashed in Roswell New Mexico are meant to have come from.
• Ah microfiche machines. Gone the way of the dodo along with punched cards and green and white striped perforated printer paper. That's my early office career in a nutshell on screen.
• Human livers and their regenerative abilities have been mentioned  all the way back to Greek myth and the story of Prometheus (his liver was pecked out by an Eagle every day but regrew overnight). It's often been thought that livers hold the key to full cellular regeneration and perhaps eternal life.
• Best lines of the series so far - Scully: “Oh my God, Mulder. It smells like ... I think it’s bile.” Mulder: “Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?”
• The final confrontation is a nice inversion of the "innocent girl takes a bath and gets killed by the monster" scene that has become a staple of so many slasher movies. Some dripping bile allows Scully to keep her clothes on *and* get the drop on Tooms.

The "X-Files" obviously casts a long shadow on American television. Other shows will take the "freak of the week" idea and do their own take on it - "Buffy the Vampire Slayer","Supernatural", "Smallville" and even "Fringe" (before it forged it's own glorious path) all had their own variations. "Squeeze" may not have been the very first story of this type, but I can certainly see why it would be one that everyone remembers.

Random Ravings 3 - The Klae Dynasty

I'm in the U.S. for work this week, so not a huge amount of time to catch up TV and movies. However I did get to finish a book I have been trying to get through for the last couple of weeks:

Pax Britannia : Human Nature - by Jonathan Green (Abaddon Books)

This is the fourth novel in the world of "Pax Britannia" and the third to feature dandy adventurer Ulysses Quicksilver. The world is not our own. At the tail end of the 20th Century, the empire of Magna Britannia is still going strong. Victoria has been on the throne for 160 years, kept alive by esoteric steam technology. London is a sprawling metropolis where dirigibles roam the skies and a network of raised "overground" trains link the boroughs. Robot bobbies patrol the streets and dinosaurs are on display in London Zoo. Beneath the streets strange creatures stir in the flooded tunnels of the abandoned Underground system. So far, so "steampunk" you might think. But the prose suggests this is a world that is influenced by the pulp adventure stories of Doc Savage, the detective who-dunnits of Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie or the Hammer horror movies as it is Victorian SF fantasies.

I read the first novel in the series, "Unnatural History" a few years back and found it a reasonable adventure story, with an interesting if overly familiar protagonist. I'm not well-versed enough in the "steampunk" genre to be able to comment on it's quality as an example of that genre, but it rattled along at a fast pace and there was a decent amount of world-building. To be honest I think it's fair to say that I found Ulysses Quicksilver to be a real mish-mash of bits and pieces of other, greater characters. He's a consulting detective. He has a Spiderman-like ability to sense when peril is around the corner. There is a backstory involving a secret sect of monks. A near fatal fall after a battle in the sky. A faithful butler who gets him out of scrapes. There are also faint echoes of Lucifer Box from the excellent Mark Gatiss novels (but with none of the acerbic wit). Quicksilver is not exactly original - but all characters have to start somewhere. It's clear that this was meant to be a love letter to other works, so I could allow the element of pastiche. Plus the world he inhabits had potential. - and as I said, it was a pleasant enough diversion. So far so good.

Volume two was "El Sombra" a detour away from Victoriana into a world of revenge, Mexican superheroics and jet-pack wearing Nazis by the increasingly impressive Al Ewing (currently a real star for Marvel Comics). Yes it was clearly Zorro meets Daredevil, but it was original, fizzing with excitement and ridiculously, entertainingly violent. A big step up and huge fun.

But with volume three, "Leviathan Rising" - another Quicksilver adventure - problems started to surface (pardon the pun). The writer's influences were perhaps a little *too* on the nose. It's basically a melding together of "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea", "The Poseidon Adventure" and "The Island of Doctor Moreau" with a dash of "Titanic" and a pinch of "Murder on the Orient Express" - oh and a huge squid-monster with armour and razor sharp teeth.. In the right hands this could have been a fun romp, but sadly I found myself predicting exactly where the story was going to go and speed-reading in the hope that it would take a more interesting turn. When I worked out who the villain was in the first 100 or so pages, I began to lose hope. I *wanted* to like it, I really did, but I was just...bored.  "Maybe it's me" I thought. "Maybe I'm expecting too much and can't get into the author's 'groove' and just go with the flow. There's only one thing for it - read one more for luck.

So that's how I ended up working my way through "Human Nature". What I was hoping for was an original story set on a steampunky-world. What I got was, sadly, the same whisked together rip-off's of several well known stories, with the names and serial numbers filed off. Quicksilver is even more of a Sherlock Holmes analogue this time out (at one point I think he even exclaims "the game's afoot!"). A large part of the plot is lifted straight from "Hound of the Baskervilles" with the twist this time being that there really *is* a gigantic dog-like beast prowling the moors and ripping people to pieces. The other half seems to come from the author having binged on Frankenstein movies crossed with the "Doctor Who" classic "Brain of Morbius". (I don't think the "Doctor Who" influences end there to be honest - after all, two of these novels share titles with previous Seventh and Eighth Doctor paperbacks).

In the main it was a similar by-the-numbers action adventure that moved from set piece to set piece with barely a pause for thought or any real kind of character development. I think I also realised that the genetic manipulation angle is going to be an over-riding "theme" through this series (it was front and centre in "Leviathan Rising" too) and I really am just not that interested in it as a concept or seeing how the various minor seeded plot threads play themselves out.

There are some flashes of originality. The 'House of Monkeys' ruled over by a disreputable Fagin-like character was fun - followed by a chase sequence through burning tenement slums while our hero and his butler were chased by a horde of simian lackeys. There is also a eerily downbeat interlude where we encounter the villains failed vivisection experiments. Sad deformed creatures that are trapped underground and forgotten about like so much rubbish. Finally - spoiler alert - there was one moment where you do wonder if the author is really going to go through with the mad scientist amputating Quicksilver's arm, and not only does it actually happen, he then graft's an ape arm in it's place, seemingly permanently! It's a bold move and if there had been more clever twists of this sort I might have been more positive about the rest of the book. It is worth mentioning that Jonathan Green  gives the reader a bonus short story at the back of the book - a bloody tale of revenge, murder and a killer Santa Claus.

Sadly I don't think there's enough here to make me want to read any more of the escapades of Ulysses Quicksilver - at least not at the moment when I have too many other books vying for my attention. However Mr. Al Ewing has apparently written a sequel to "El Sombra" called "Gods of Manhattan", so I might give that a go...

Golden Sunsets - 50 Years of Memories - Part 3 - 1969

Week 3 and it's time for a visit to the most famous county in children's television...

1969:

The trivia:

• There was a genuine board game called "Chug A Lug" which involved smoking, drinking beer and taking soft drugs. Penalties involved running to the off license to get more beer, removing clothing or not being allowed to go to the bathroom.
• There was some small event about man landing on the Moon. It didn't get much news coverage...
• The Space Hopper became the most popular toy in Britain
• The US Air Force closed "Project Blue Book", concluding that there was no evidence to support the existence of UFO's.
• "Sesame Street" featuring the Muppets made its debut on PBS
• William Henry Pratt, better known as horror movie star Boris Karloff, died at the age of 81

The item:

Chigley

Yes it's the third of the "Trumptonshire" trilogy after "Camberwick Green" and "Trumpton". This is the one that everyone remembers because of *that* train song...

God how I loved all three of these series. Apart from "Playschool", they are probably my earliest memory of children's television. There's just something so quintessentially British about the little lives of all those characters, each with their own song and their own idiosyncrasies. All three shows have their own singular joys. The Trumpton fire brigade - who never get to put out a real fire. The characters rising out of the music box at the start of "Camberwick Green". The soldiers at Pippin Fort. But it was the sight of Brackett plodding endlessly down the bizarre, modern art covered, corridors of Winkstead Hall in search of Lord Bellborough (who was usually to be found next to a telephone the annoying old duffer !)  that was always my favourite.

It's difficult to accurately date when I first watched Gordon Murray's era defining programmes. They were all shown so often that the repeats blur into one.  What's odd though is that I don't have any memories of thinking "Oh I've seen this one before". There is just a haze of happy memories punctuated by Brian Cant's wonderful narration. I do know that when I first went to school I used to come home for lunch sometimes and more often than not there would be an episode to watch as I ate my cheese sandwiches or  beans on toast. What also made "Chigley" rather unique was that it featured guest appearances of characters from the other earlier shows. It was probably my first experience of a franchise crossover, and there was always a surge of excitement when someone like Captain Flack and his brigade put in an appearance.

Chigley was described as an industrial hamlet and it certainly was a hive of activity, with a lively wharf, family run pottery and Mr. Cresswell's biscuit factory all within a short distance of each other. Unlike the other two series, there wasn't really a hub (such as the town square) and the action moved between locations as the story dictated. What you could always guarantee was that there would be a need for a train journey and dear old Lord Bellborough would put on his overalls and get Bessie out of her shed and chuffing along the tracks to the strains of "time goes by when you're the driver of a train". He'd rope long suffering Brackett into things too although he never seemed to do much. Lord B obviously had a lot of time on his hands as he didn't need much of an excuse to turn train driver (no Lady Bellborough to keep him busy I guess). Not only that but he also operated the vintage Dutch organ for the dancers at the end of the day jamboree outside the biscuit factory. Why was it such an elaborate musical device? Why did they feel the need to celebrate their daily freedom from biscuit servitude with a polka?  No idea. Perhaps his lordship was secretly an eccentric tyrant who insisted that the workers that used his land jigged about for his sadistic pleasure. We'll never know...

"Chigley" and its stablemates were a huge influence on a generation of children who grew up to be musicians, programme makers and creators in later life. Surreal rock / folk band "Half Man Half Biscuit" released "Time Flies By" and "Trumpton Riots". Lyrics in one of  the songs by "Oasis" obliquely referenced faithful retainer Brackett. In Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon's seminal comic book "Preacher", one depraved character sings the familiar train song as he rides naked on a bicycle - as you do. If you are 40+ years old, those images and tunes are woven tightly into your DNA.

With DVD's the default home entertainment media of choice in the early 2000s, I ended up buying a whole host of children's favourites on shiny disc. The "Trumptonshire Trilogy" was one of the first. 36 episodes of pure bliss which take me back to a time when kids TV didn't have to be about high octane action or another way of selling innocent little cherubs the latest over-priced tat - just slices of life in a quaint English county (although that one about Windy Miller getting drunk....hmmm...). Maybe I'll get to show "Chigley" to my grandchildren one day  - at which point they will probably complain about it's lack of 3D virtual reality interaction or some such nonsense.

I'll leave off this week with the sheer brilliance that is the "Life On Mars" homage. If only they could have done Gene Hunt chasing down some "nonces" on a train...

e Scandals:

I Saw Elvis In A Potato Chip Once 2 - The X-Files 1.02: Deep Throat

So by this point the appropriately eerie theme music by Mark Snow and those famous titles are now in place. It's a grab bag of odd images and photographs, but the one that stands out to me is of course the glowing blue hand. 

That's a example of a Kirlian  photograph and the story behind their discovery was one of the first things that grabbed my attention in the early issues of "The Unexplained" partwork magazine (let's be honest - I will probably keep coming back to articles from it throughout this project). In 1939 Semyon Kirlian and his wife Valentina discovered that if you put photographic film on a conducting plate and attached another conductor to an object (such as a leaf, plant or hand) and charged them, an image was produced which showed the object surrounded by an aura of light. They were convinced that this was the life force which showed the physical and emotional state of the subject. Others in subsequent years used the technique to supposedly prove the existence of the Chinese "Chi" that permeates all living things.

As interest in the paranormal increased, Kirlian photography began appearing in popular culture and was used in films and on album covers - most famously that of George Harrison's "Living In The Material World". Nowadays the esoteric claims for what causes the coronal discharge have been disapproved, but it's still a beautiful and mesmerising effect.

So now having got past the titles it's time for:

Episode 1.02 - "Deep Throat"

This is essentially the start of the alien conspiracy mythology that I know becomes the spine of the show (for good or ill, I guess time will tell - remember I haven't seen anything past around episode 1.04 before). After the alien abduction storyline last week, it's time for the introduction of other elements that Joe Public has probably most familiarity with ( before the really weird stuff starts). Government cover-ups. Area 51. Roswell. Military aircraft using appropriated alien technology. Mind-wipes. Men In Black. Aliens have visited Earth and they are still here. All this plus a shadowy nameless informant. It's a UFO enthusiasts Christmas wish list. Actually some sections of this episode reminded me of another much older American TV series - "Project U.F.O" from 1979. In the UK, To distinguish it from the classic Gerry Anderson series it was renamed "Project Blue Book".

It was loosely based on the real life project of the same name and featured two U.S. Air Force investigators  travelling around the country investigating U.F.O.sightings, theoretically to see if there was a threat to national security. Unlike their real world counterparts - who never found any evidence to prove the existence of extra-terrestrial life despite seventeen years of searching and thousands of reports - the pair often found things they could not explain. As the series went on, in a kind of proto"X-Files" way, they spent much of their time trying to find alternative rational explanations, only for the last five minutes to reveal that alien spacecraft really were involved. The show lasted for twenty-six episodes.

That big money-shot of the triangular military craft hovering over Mulder's head with all it's running lights? That's the kind of thing I remember from "Project Blue Book". I'm sure it wasn't that impressive back in 1979 though.

It's a hugely enjoyable adventure, even if Mulder won't remember a large part of it. You can see the building blocks of the season to come slotting deftly into place and the quip quotient is noticeably higher than the pilot. The pair have assumed their default roles, even if Scully does come across as a little *too* inflexible. She'll mellow. For me this was an interesting jaunt down memory lane as bits and pieces of all those UFO reports I devoured back in the 1980s kept popping up like icebergs in my deep subconscious. I didn't realise how much was still there.

Other things that I noticed while watching this weeks episode:

• The episode is called "Deep Throat" in reference to the famous informant that passes data to the Washington Post and revealed the Watergate scandal. Maybe Mulder's mysterious helper can explain why a toilet with cubicles has a lock on the main door...
• One of the soldiers busting down the door and invading the house at the steer looked very flustered. First day on the job?
• Nothing says 90s drama like men in business suits with ratty ponytails.
• Scully looks very glamourously made-up for an FBI agent. Now I've nothing against Gillian looking like a no-nonsense power-dressing bad-ass woman in control (with added Harry Potter glasses), but she does appear to have piled the slap on a bit thick this morning. Her lipstick completely changes several times through the episode, so she must have a plentiful supply in that overnight case. Maybe I'm looking at her lips a bit too closely. Erm... where was I?
• Actually that's some major pink lipgloss Mulder is wearing. Is Denise from "Twin Peaks" creeping out?
• I think sometimes we forget how much the landscape of script writing must have changed with the development of mobile phones and especially the internet. A whole swath of familiar plot tropes suddenly became unusable. This week: paper maps. 
• A very, very young Seth Green as a stoner watching the light shows. This was definitely Mulder as a teenager. He probably had that terrible goatee too. 
• An Immelmann turn gets its name from a World War I flying maneuver, although nowadays it's more often used to refer to an ascending half-loop followed by half roll, so the aircraft is facing the other way at a higher altitude. I've clearly watched too many war films.

"Can I borrow that lipgloss when we get back, Mulder?"