We're All Stories In The End 14 - Cat's Cradle 3 : Witch Mark

 Time for a little fantasy to creep into the Doctor Who world....

Cat's Cradle : Witch Mark by Andrew Hunt

Seventh Doctor Adventures number: 7

Originally published: June 1992

Companions: Ace

"Spare no sympathy for those creatures. They were witches, they deserved to die."

A coach crashes on the M40. All the passengers are killed. The bodies carry no identification; they are wearing similar new clothes. And each has a suitcase full of banknotes.

A country vet delivers a foal. The mare has a deep wound in her forehead. In the straw, the vet finds a tapered horn.

In the darkening and doomed world known to its inhabitants as Tír na n-Óg, the besieged humans defend the walls of their citadel Dinorben against mythical beasts and demons.

The TARDIS's link with the Eye of Harmony is becoming ever more tenuous and is in urgent need of repair. But the time machine takes the Doctor and Ace to a village in rural Wales, and a gateway to another world.

                                             

So apologies for the pun, but I'm going to let the cat out of the bag straight away.

"Cats Cradle - Witch Mark" is not the rousing climax to a trilogy of interconnected adventures. To be honest, it’s probably an offence under the trades descriptions act to even call it a trilogy at all. No wonder Virgin did away with the umbrella titles after this.

While there *is* a conclusion to the flimsy "the TARDIS is seriously damaged" through-line stemming from "Time's Crucible", that feels utterly tacked on at the end in a "dictated by the editors, oh if I really must" way, so I'll not mention it... ever again.

Instead what we do get is mainly a "Doctor Who meets the fantasy quest genre" novel.

Touchstones are probably the "Narnia Chronicles" and definitely "Lord of the Rings" - with the latter providing some of the chapter titles for the book, not to mention some blindingly obvious call outs. But there are also elements of Gaelic, Welsh and other mythologies woven into the backstory 

I'll get to my thoughts on the actual plot in a bit, but it's perhaps telling that it was the origin, adaptation and use of these medieval names and stories that intrigued me the most.

I've come across many of the Irish names and concepts elsewhere - primarily in the "Sláine" comic strip in 2000 AD, written by Pat Mills. And here in "Witch Mark", some are used pretty straight.

The supernatural otherworld of  Tír na n-Óg is often described as being accessed via ancient sites, so a stone circle fits well. And while the Tuatha Dé Danann were not generally shown as the ruling council of the land, they *were* depicted as kings, queens and warrior heroes and had shapeshifting powers. The leader was known as Nuada though  - and in the most famous tales lost his arm in battle, eventually replacing it with one made from silver. Maybe he was an early Cyberman ?

Other names have been appropriated to fill Andrew Hunt's world. The Firbolg of myth were men, not centaurs.  The Fomoir were hideous sea creatures, not trolls.  And the Sidhe were often the fairy folk - definitely not Hobbits with fox like characteristics. Actually, see the novel "Autumn Mist" for an alternative take on those creatures. 

Meanwhile, distrusting warrior chieftain Chulainn is far removed from his Gaelic namesake - who served as the inspiration for the afore mentioned Sláine - warp-spasm and all. But Dagda and Arawn seem appropriate names for the twin suns of Tír na n-Óg - given that one is associated with fertility and the other with death.

Most interesting of all though, is the name given to the "magician" at the heart of this quest - Goibhnie.

In Irish mythology he was one of a trio of divine craftsmen, a metalsmith, provider of a sacred otherworld feast - and brewed ale that could convey immortality on those who drank it. The "Craftsman" side totally fits with the idea of the alien Troifran scientist that created the world.

Not all the creatures stem from Gaelic pre-history. The unicorns are known as Ceffyl, which as any Welsh speaker (of which I am NOT one) knows means horse. Pretty on the nose there. And the Dinorben fortress did once exist in Wales, although its long since been destroyed.

All that and an appearance from Herne (from English folklore) who lives backwards in time (like Merlin of Arthurian legend).

Anyway, enough with Andrew Hunt's melting pot framework  - what about the actual novel?

Well it's absolutely the most traditional Doctor Who story in this loose trilogy. It's a a non-manipulative Seventh Doctor and an immature Ace who still uses phrases like "bog breath" - so clearly *not* the gun-toting hero from "Warhead". 

Plus it all starts off in a '90s "X-Files" kind of a way - a remote Welsh village where strange things are happening, a grizzled local who seems to know more than he is letting on, locals disappearing without warning, a bus crash full people with no identification except for a strange birthmark. We even have a Mulder stand with Inspector Stevens of the Yard.

Though once the Timelord and his companion stumble into Tír na n-Óg - more quickly than I expected - the fantasy influences are worn loud and proud. And Frodo and Sam - sorry the Doctor and Ace  - are sent on an impossible mission to defeat the evil dark lord and restore things to normal, although no one really thinks they will succeed. 

Hunt also throws in some demonic monsters, a Welsh cult burning people at the stake, not to mention centaurs, Ace forming a telepathic bond with a unicorn - *and* a description of pregnant women having their stomach's cut open and the babies being strangled with their own umbilical cords !

It's a heady mix.

I kind of like the premise - basically "the world is ending so the fellowship of fantasy creatures and men breaks because the humans are selfish and want to become refugees in our world". And I can't remember Doctor Who doing a pure fantasy of this type before.

But here lies my problem. 

I wish it had stayed as a fantasy setting. It would have been something different.

Not everything in Doctor Who has to have a scientific explanation - and to be honest, once it was revealed that the world was all the work of genetic engineering by an alien, I kind of lost interest a little. Not to mention that once that came to light, the whole thing seemed to rush headlong to a conclusion, with numerous plot threads just left hanging - 

Where did all the money founds on the people in the crashed coach come from?

The same goes for the replicas of the Doctor and Ace. I assume they were "demons" but what purpose did their disguise serve? If it was just to kill Janet and Hugh - then what? The whole element seemed to peter out.

Was David really Bathsheba's missing brother ? If so, what happened to send him to Earth ?

It feels like it could have done with quite a few more pages and a different resolution - one that didn’t have to tie into that trilogy ending that shall not be named.

How much of this was down to it being Andrew Hunts' first novel is difficult to say.

But the ideas were solid, even if I personally would have preferred a different (and more fulfilling) execution.

Golden Sunsets Redux - 60 Years of Memories - Part 9 - 1975

Bear with me. It's going to be quite a time-twisting, decades-hopping path before we get to the memory in question this time...

1975:

The trivia:

• On the 18th July of 1975, seventeen year-old Erskine Ebbin from Hamilton, Bermuda was hit by a taxi and killed whilst riding his moped. It was almost exactly one year after his brother Neville was also killed - riding the same moped, on the same road, by the same taxi driver, Willard Manders. Astonishingly, according to the boys’ father, even the passenger carried in the taxi was the same in both instances. It sounds almost too co-incidental to be true…

• The classic BBC TV show “The Goodies” featuring Grahame Garden, Bill Oddie and Tim Brooke-Taylor was known for its episodes of surreal comedy. During an episode called "Kung Fu Kapers", transmitted on 24th March 1975, Bill reveals he is a master of the secret Lancastrian martial art known as “Ecky Thump” - which usually entails wearing a giant flat cap and braces and wielding a black pudding as a weapon. Viewer Alex Mitchell of King’s Lynn, Norfolk laughed so much that he fainted, started to breathe unusually and then died of what was suspected as a heart attack. The story made news around the world. It wasn’t until 2012 when his grand-daughter had a similar near fatal cardiac arrest, that doctors realised that it was actually a rare condition known as Long QT Syndrome.

• On the 6th August 1975 the New York Times featured a front-page obituary for renowned fictional detective Hercule Poirot. The story gave a brief history of his career and detailed how Poirot had died at Styles Court, his Essex nursing home - along with fact that he had taken to wearing a wig and false moustache “to disguise the signs of age that offended his vanity”. It also carried a notice from Agatha Christie’s publisher that the final Poirot novel, "Curtain", was to be published on 15th October.

The memory:

Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze

Legendary pulp hero Doc Savage first appeared in his own magazine in March 1933, following on from the success of "The Shadow".  Although often classed as the world's first superhero, he actually had no powers. Instead Clark Savage Jnr had been trained almost from birth by a team of scientists assembled by his father. This punishing regime honed his mind and body, giving him huge strength, agility and fighting skills, a photographic memory and a vast knowledge of science. Main writer Lester Dent envisioned him as a cross between Sherlock Holmes and Tarzan, coupled with an innate sense of goodness.

Headquartered on the 86th floor of Manhattan's tallest skyscraper (implied to be the Empire State Building), Doc also possessed a large array of vehicles, futuristic gadgets and weaponry, including the "mercy bullet" which only put its victim to sleep. His fortune came from a hidden South American gold mine that was bequeathed to him after his very first adventure. Lastly he had a secret retreat in the Arctic wastelands known as the 'Fortress of Solitude' (Superman stole that idea) where he could carry out experiments, meditate and get away from the stresses of everyday life.

Possessed of distinctive bronze skin and hair and golden eyes (traits shared by his cousin Patricia) and accompanied by his five friends - Ham, Monk, Renny, Long Tom and Johnny - who were all experts in their chosen fields, Doc punished evildoers and solved mysteries across 181 'super-sagas'  - all the way thorough to 1949. Controversially, Doc also sometimes operated on the brains of the criminals he subdued, curing them of their evil ways.

I first came across Doc and his friends in my mid-teens via some very battered Bantam paperbacks that my friend Matt showed me at a London comic-mart. Bantam had been reprinting the stories since the 1960s, many featuring the now classic James Bama image of a titan of a man with a sharp widows peak hairline and a tattered shirt, showing off his huge muscles. The artwork on the front was certainly intriguing enough but at the time I was more interested in comics and modern science fiction and fantasy novels than pulp stories from the 1930s, so I dismissed them as a relic of the a bygone era...

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Back in the days before it was a countrywide chain of hugely successful multi media pop culture stores, there were two shops called "Forbidden Planet", both in London. In St Giles High Street you had "FP2", which was the film and television hub. This was less than two minutes walk from the flagship store in Denmark Street - and in the 1980s that was the absolute mecca for fans of science fiction, fantasy and comic books.

(From the comics in the window this picture was taken in mid-1987...)

I absolutely *loved* Forbidden Planet. Even now, decades after they have moved premises, I just have to walk past the old shop front and the memories come flooding back from the myriad times I visited over the years, from around 1980 onward. I even went weekly when I started working in the big city. There was no CCTV back then, so after spending five minutes gawping at the current weeks comics displayed in the window, any bags you had were handed in to the guy sat on the stairs as you walked in through the narrow doorway off the street. In return he would hand you half a playing card and clip the other half to your possessions with a clothes peg. Thus crudely identified and secure, you were then allowed through the door on the left into the shop itself.

It was a long narrow space with dozens of  low shelves of novels at the front and racks of comics at the back - with everything else crammed in between. Back issues, posters, artwork, models - it was an absolute cornucopia of stuff, suffused with that old comic book smell which you just don't get in today's pristine mega-stores.  I still have a T-shirt with one of the Brian Bolland promotional images on it (although I'm far too large to fit into it now). I attended signings, made new friends and purchased hundreds of new comics and novels - all thanks to this magical place.

This is all very interesting you might think, but how does this relate to the "Man of Bronze"? Well, Forbidden Planet was where I rediscovered this classic Golden Age character...

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On one of my regular visits to the shop in the summer of 1988, I was doing my usual trawl through the bookshelves in search of something new to read when I came across a deep blue cover showing the figure of a burly man in a ripped shirt in front of a bolt of lightning. "Doc Savage Omnibus  #5" it proclaimed "Five Doc adventure classics in one giant volume!". Vaguely remembering a similar image from many years before, I took a look at the back cover and inside blurb. Hmmm... these stories sounding quite interesting.

You see, in the intervening years I'd learned a new appreciation for the characters from prior decades and those that had been the antecedents of the superheroes that I loved. There was a vast wealth of history out there, both prose and pictorial and now being in my early twenties  - and only very recently having read the bombastic update of "The Shadow" by Howard Chaykin, I was just in the right frame of mind to explore the world of the pulp heroes of the past. Forgoing my usual insistence to only buy a new book series from the first volume (#1-4 not being present on the shelves at the time), I took the omnibus to the friendly guy behind the counter and paid my £5.99.

It's worth mentioning here that it wasn't until much, much later that I discovered that not only was this not the first omnibus in the series, but the stories collected in each book were not even necessarily in chronological order. As I mentioned earlier, Bantam had been reprinting Doc Savage since 1964, but as the tales got shorter they combined them first into double novels and then these multi-story omnibuses. Volume five reprinted "super-saga's" 170-174, but such a sequence was unusual and other books had adventures seemingly at random from across the decades.

At the time though I didn't known any of this, so as I worked my way through "No Light To Die By" and the subsequent stories, I lost myself in a world of 1930s mystery and intrigue with ex-Nazi's, a rented gorilla suit, a female poisoner and a sunken ship. Sure the plots were a bit creaky and obviously of their time, but I found them very enjoyable. This first quintet only featured, Doc, Ham, Monk and a guest appearance from cousin Pat, but mentioned other characters that were "off on their own adventures" or "busy". I wanted to know more, so a few weeks later I went back to Forbidden Planet and found Omnibus # 6. That was it - I was hooked...

Over the coming months and years I would buy all of the Omnibuses and through second hand book-shops and similar places also purchase quite a few of the older Bantam reprints. I never did amass a complete collection of all 181 stories in paperback (I have since through the wonders of e-books), but that was okay. 

Then in 1991 Bantam began printing *new* Doc Savage novels, beginning with "Escape From Loki" by long-time Savage aficionado Philip Jose Farmer (remember him from back in 1971?) and I got all those too, right through until 1993 when the series was first cancelled.

A couple of asides at this point (in a post full of asides). Farmer also wrote a 1973 biography of  Doc Savage from the viewpoint that he was a real person and that "Kenneth Robeson" was just recording fictionalised versions of the Savage memoirs. He also linked Savage to dozens of other fictional characters in his "Wold Newton Universe". I mentioned this briefly before, in my 1969 piece when I wrote about "A Feast Unknown". It's a fascinating idea that blurs the line between fiction and reality. Alan Moore has commented that this concept was a significant influence on his work on the "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" comic book and its various sequels. 

So, we have established that I developed a love of the Doc Savage stories from the 1930s, which I rediscovered in the 1980s and that I read the books well into the 1990s - so how does all this fit into a memory of something released in 1975 ? The answer involves Farmer's other favourite character, Tarzan...

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When I was much younger I loved the "Tarzan" TV series. Although it was originally transmitted between 1966 and 1968, the British TV channel "ITV" showed the series on what seemed like a continuous loop on Saturday mornings in the 1970s. Like the Adam West "Batman" show, it became imprinted on the memories of most children of that decade. I was already familiar with the character from the black and white Johnny Weissmuller movies that my dad liked to watch, but this was a more educated ape-man, returning to the jungle after becoming tired of living amongst "civilised" men. With high production values, action packed storylines and filming in real jungles (admittedly Brazil rather than deepest Africa) it was a technicolour feast for the eyes. Accompanies by local boy Jai and ever-present chimpanzee Cheetah, Tarzan was one of my favourite TV heroes.

The real reason for the show's success was of course the amazing Ron Ely in the title role. An impressive well-built figure who could act, swim, fight and interact with animals - and do all his own stunts - he had a real screen presence and embodied the the role of the Lord of The Apes for a generation.  I've never forgotten him.

Which brings us, at last, to the point of this long rambling piece. One Saturday somewhere around 1989, I was flicking through the TV channels and paused to watch the end of a TV show (the name of which I can't remember). After the credits rolled, there was an announcement of the following programme, something along the lines of "Up next it's the afternoon film. Ron Ely is Doc Savage - The Man Of Bronze".

What !?  WHAT !? There was a Doc Savage movie? How had I missed this? Somehow in the year since I'd started reading the books I'd not come across this fact. Quickly I took a look on the "Teletext" pages for the channel (this is pre-internet remember. Oh and if you don't know when Teletext is, I recommend you look at the pages here. Hours of fun.) Ah, this film was made in 1975 -  that might explain why I had missed it. That plus it probably wasn't shown that often. Or when it was shown the name didn't ring any bells. Who knows. The point was it was on now! This was too good an opportunity to miss. Quickly I grabbed a blank videocassette, put it in my machine and pressed record just as the sonorous voice over and the patriotic strains of John Philip Sousa's "The Thunderer" march began...

Adapting the basic plot of the first novel, "Doc Savage: Man Of Bronze" sees our fearless hero investigating the death of his father. Vowing to solve the murder, Doc and the "Fabulous Five" attempt to travel to the republic of Hidalgo, but are opposed at every turn by a stream of tribal natives, relentless assassins and supernatural creatures - plus the ruthless and maniacal Captain Seas - who wants the riches of Hidalgo for himself.

Many of the core elements of the character are present - the 1930s setting, the 86th floor headquarters, Doc's daily exercise regime, the Fortress of Solitude, the strange "trilling noise" that Doc makes during times of mental stress or excitement and the various eccentricities or habits exhibited by his faithful companions. Even Monk's pet pig Habeus Corpus gets a look in. There are also plenty of bronze coloured retro gadgets and vehicles.

 But if you are expecting a straight-laced action / adventure story in the mold of "Raiders of the Lost Ark", which faithfully adapts the usual serious tone of the novels, well this is not the film for you. If however you enjoy the tongue in cheek, camp, self-aware, winking at the audience kind of thing that the "Batman" TV series did so well, and can go with the flow then you will "get" it. It's very, very silly in places  - for example the cartoonish villain's henchman sleeps in a giant baby crib - and the final fight sequence (with subtitles) has to be seen to be believed, The production values are great but there is some cheap looking animation and the acting is sometimes so far over the top, it comes back down the other side. But the truth is that all of that can be forgiven because it's just so much damn fun and outrageously entertaining - I adored the film that first time I watched it and I still do. This is the kind of film that the words "cult classic" were invented for.

Ron Ely was perfectly cast as Doc. Benevolent, intelligent, always three steps ahead of the bad guys, he exuded charisma and inhabits the role as if it was made for him. Like Adam West before him, Ely plays it absolutely straight even in the oddest of situations. Likewise the look of Johnny, Long Tom, Ham, Monk and Renny may not be exactly true to the books, but they are close enough that you can recognise the characters that Lester Dent created.

Apparently not everyone could see the fun side of having a humourous Doc Savage movie. "Purists" absolutely hated it. I can sort of see their point. They had probably been waiting years for a faithful adaptation of their favourite pulp franchise - and this certainly was not it. Maybe because I had come late to reading the books and only discovered the film fourteen years after its initial release, I was able to enjoy it more on it's own merits rather than weighing it down with decades of expectation. It seems that the musical choices (the Sousa marches, etc,) came in for particular scorn. If you want that all removed and some of the effects updated, there is a fan-edited "Detarnished Edition" out there on the interweb. I do have a copy and while it turns the film into something more akin to a colour version of the old Republic cliffhanger serials, it also loses some of the charm.

There's one other thing that I want to mention about "Man of Bronze" and that's Doc Savage's car. It's a now extremely rare bronze Cord Model 810 convertible with modified running boards (for Clark Savage Jnr to stand on) and it is just absolutely stunning. I have always appreciated cars from the early decades of the 20th century and for me this one is just at the top of the pile. I. Want. That. Car. Sadly unless I win the lottery and can have one custom adapted to look just like that picture below I think I'm out of luck..

In conclusion - more than thirty-five years after reading my first Savage story I still enjoy Doc's adventures in novel and comic book form. There have been multiple suggestions over the decades that a new film version will be made, with everyone from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Dwayne Johnson up for the role. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t. Until then I have the 1975 version of the Man of Bronze and I know I may be in the minority here, but despite its flaws the film always makes me smile. It's not a guilty pleasure at all.

Time for some music...

Honourable mentions:

• Jaws - There are movies you watch - and then there are movies that become part of your DNA. For me, "Jaws" is the latter. It's probably my favourite film of all time and certainly the one I have purchased in more different formats than any other (yes, even the disc for the Phillips LaserVision). It's astonishing that a film made under such difficult conditions ended up being just about perfect. John Williams' iconic score. The superb performances - especially from the magnetic Robert Shaw. The way that being forced to keep the shark mostly unseen actually makes the film better. Fifty years later it's as powerful and scary and dramatic as ever. I've watched it more times than I can count and I love every single frame. It's not just nostalgia. "Jaws" was the first film where I wanted to know how it was made - that got me interested in the art of film-making. The first film where I knew the name of the director and followed his career. The first film I could quote lines from. I may never need a bigger boat - but I'll always need "Jaws".

• The Rocky Horror Picture Show - There was a time in my late teens / early 20s when "Rocky Horror" wasn't just a movie - it was a lifestyle. I must have been watching it on a weekly basis. Richard O'Brien was my idol. I went to every live stage show and film screening I could find. I dressed up as Brad in his lab coat and white underwear. I shouted out talk-back lines, threw rice, toast and toilet paper with gusto. I bought every LP going. In short, I was addicted. There's something about "Rocky Horror" that just spoke to me. It wasn't just Tim Curry strutting his stuff in fishnets and a basque. It wasn't just the marvelous songs where I knew every lyric. For someone that didn't have a lot of friends (especially after leaving school) it gave me a sense of belonging. And although the decades have passed and I fell in love with other things, I only have to hear the opening notes of "Science Fiction, Double Feature" to be back in that time.

• Space:1999 - In my humble opinion this is Gerry Anderson's finest live action series (although I do have a lot of affection for "UFO"). It helps that it has one of the best theme's in the history of SF television. Barry Gray's thunderous orchestral blast, the whining electric guitar riffs accompanied by glimpses of what was in the episode this week. It's simply glorious. The show has an absurd premise really - a nuclear explosion blows the moon out of orbit, where it travels across interstellar space in mere months. But this wasn't "Star Trek". It was more philosophical. More eerie. Yes, there were monsters (none more horrifying that the tentacled horror from "Dragon's Domain"), but there was time to ponder the meaning of life. Martin Landau was never less than brooding magnificence and Barbara Bain was worthy if a little dull. My favourite though was the wonderful Barry Morse as Professor Victor Bergman. He wasn't the flashy science guy - he was warm, grounded and had a kind of quiet sadness about him. A shame he only lasted the one series. The second not only dropped him (and the fabulous Main Mission set), but also the theme and the more serious elements - going for a "creature of the week" vibe that never quite worked. At least we still had the Eagles and the Com-Locks and the Stun Guns. Those are technical elements that still stand up today. Oh and yes, like every school boy, I did have a massive crush on Catherine Schell as Maya...

Golden Sunsets Redux - 60 Years of Memories - Part 8 - 1974

This selection may seem like a safe and obvious choice. It's not because this year is particularly lacking in things that made a lasting impression on me - just look at the "honourable mentions" section below - but more that it stands head and shoulders above everything else...

1974:

The trivia:

• Suave actor David Niven was speaking at the 46th Oscars ceremony at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in Los Angeles and was just about to introduce Elizabeth Taylor, when a fully naked man ran past, flashing a peace sign. Streaking was a huge fad at the time and photographer Robert Opel had posed as a journalist to gain access to the stage. Niven did a double take, adjusted his bow tie and then famously quipped "Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was almost bound to happen. Isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?". When the laughter finally subsided, Taylor floated onto the stage, received a standing ovation and remarked, “That’s a pretty hard act to follow!”. Later, some evidence arose suggesting that the whole scene had been set up by the show's producer Jack Haley Jr. as a stunt, but Niven's family vehemently denied this. The streaking was commemorated 50 years later during the 96th Academy Awards when John Cena presented the award for Best Costume Design naked and covered only by the envelope. 

• At a ceremony to mark the remodelling of the Arecibo Telescope in Puerto Rico, the first ever interstellar radio message was sent towards the Messier 41 cluster in the Canis Major constellation, 25,000 light years from Earth. The 1,679 bits of binary data was meant as a demonstration of human technological achievement, rather than a serious attempt to enter into a conversation with possible extra-terrestrials, although it did contain information about human, DNA, the solar system and radio waves. In 2001 a crop circle appeared near the Chilbolton radio telescope in Hampshire, England which visually represented most of the information from the original Arecibo message. The SETI Institute dismissed the idea that it was a response from aliens. 

• On the night of Thursday 7th November 1974, Lady Veronica Lucan, wife of Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan, burst into the local pub in Belgravia and claimed to have been attacked by her husband - who had also admitted to killing their children's nanny. In the early hours of Friday morning, having apparently penned letters protesting his innocence and accusing his wife of hiring a hitman, Lucan drove away - and vanished. Known for his expensive tastes and gambling habit, Lucan was estranged from his wife and apparently desperate to regain custody of his children. No sign of him was ever found again despite intensive investigations. The case become a bit of a media sensation for many years afterwards, with multiple theories put forward. It was not until 1999 that Lucan was declared legally dead and amazingly, a death certificate (allowing his son to inherit the title and what was left of the estate) was not issued until 2016. 

The memory:

Bagpuss

It's probably fair to say that this little show starring 'the most beautiful...the most magical...saggy old cloth cat in the whole wide world'  is one of the most memorable British children's television programmes. It has gone way beyond popular culture to enter the nation's collective consciousnesses, in the same way as say, Doctor Who. 

Anyone who has ever watched an episode can remember the iconic images and characters. The series of Victorian sepia tinged photographs at the start. The shop Emily owned that did not sell anything but was full of lost property The mice on the Marvellous Mechanical Mouse organ. Gabrielle the toad. Madeleine the rag doll that never moved from her chair. Professor Yaffle the acerbic and haughty carved wooden bookend in the shape of a woodpecker. Plus of course a candy stiped cat that was baggy and a bit loose at the seams.

Each episode Emily would place a recovered broken item in front of her cat and sing the familiar song:

Bagpuss, dear Bagpuss

Old Fat Furry Catpuss

Wake up and look at this thing that I bring

Wake up, be bright, be golden and light

Bagpuss, oh hear what I sing.

As the pictures turned from sepia to full colour, Bagpuss would wake up with a huge yawn and so would all all his friends in the shop window. The toys would discuss the new object and usually tell a story or sing a song that would be illustrated by simple animation. This would appear via a thought bubble above Bagpuss's head

These tales were often taken from local Celtic folklore, but would help uncover the true nature and purpose of the thing that had been found. Then the hard-working but mischievous mice would squeak a variation on their "we will fix it" song and mend the broken item, placing it in the shop window in case whoever had lost it happened to walk past. Their task complete, Bagpuss would yawn again and as he fell asleep, the others would also turn back into immobile toys.

Across a mere thirteen episodes, the show's simple storylines, timeless stop-motion animation and lovable characters entranced multiple generations of British children. Some episodes are obviously better than others. Who can forget the classic "The Mouse Mill" where the six rodents try to convince the pompous Professor Yaffle that a wooden toy mill can make chocolate biscuits out of beans and breadcrumbs - or "Uncle Feedle" with it's charming tale of a cloth man with an inside out house. 

But others had subtle elements of the real world woven into their fabric. "The Ballet Shoe" has the mice threatening going on strike unless they are allowed to sing. Even stranger is "Ship In a Bottle" where Bagpuss reveals that he once met a topless mermaid in a bar who sat on his lap, while "The Fiddle" has dream-like layers as Bagpuss tells the story of how he met a a leprechaun  - who then proceeds to ask for his own story. This is also the one where Gabriel the toad starts to question the very nature of existence - after Yaffle extorts that leprechauns are not real, Gabriel simply states "Well perhaps we aren't real either".

"Bagpuss" was developed by stop-motion animation legends Oliver Postgate and Peter Firmin and originally transmitted between February and May 1974. A short run you might think, but what cemented the programme in the minds of children countrywide was the fact that it was repeated twice a year, every year until 1987 ! In the days before VHS, this exposure and the fact that the opening and closing minutes were always the same, meant that, much like repeating multiplication tables parrot-fashion, the familiar words and pictures just sunk into kids brains.

Such has been the overwhelming popularity of the show that it was once voted the favourite kids TV programme of all time. Much has been written about the underlying themes of kindness and working together - and there is even critical analysis which cast the disparate characters as somewhat mythic versions of the important people in a child's life - Madeleine and Gabriel as mother and father, the mice as siblings, Professor Yaffle as the teacher and Bagpuss himself as the grandfather figure. It's an interesting hypothesis.

What is certain is that it is extraordinary how much life Firmin and Postgate manage to imbue into these characters made of wood and cloth. The stop-motion process still allows for amazing nuance in their movements and interactions with each other. The series presented a world full of the power of storytelling where there were no limits to imagination. There were moments of education in some of the folktales and discussions about the discarded objects, but primarily it was fabulous entertainment for kids of all ages.

In the many years since, Bagpuss has received an honourary degree from the University of Kent, had a Romanian children's hospital wing names after him (funded entirely by royalties from the BBC), appeared on a Royal Mail postage stamp and even been part of a touring stage show featuring the songs from the episodes by original singers Sandra Kerr and John Faulkner.

For myself, I have always adored this little show and I bought it immediately it came out on DVD. My own children watched it. My younger nieces and nephews watched it. A small bean bag version of Bagpuss is looking down on my now as a write this - and if he could wake up and talk I am sure he would be pleased that he has brought such lasting joy to millions.

Honourable mentions:

• Hong Kong Phooey - In civilian life a mild mannered janitor, Penry Pooch jumps into a filing cabinet and emerges as a masked crime fighter and Kung-Fung “master”. While his Phooeymobile can transform into a boat, a plane or even a phone booth, his skills are from a correspondence course and are usually ineffective. Obviously an anthropomorphic slapstick spoof on the popular marital arts TV shows and films of the time, this Hanna Barbera show is pleasant enough animated fare, lifted by a few great gags and some solid voice perfomances. But it gets onto my list for the fantastic theme song. Sung by Jazz legend Scatman Crothers it perfectly explains the core concept and captures the shows goofy charm. In fact it’s fan-riffic !

• The Man With The Golden Gun - This may be the ninth Bond film, but it’s the first one I ever saw on the big screen. When I used to visit my maternal grandparents for a week in the school summer holidays, my much-loved late grandfather used to often take my brother and I to the local cinema. A single giant screen that showed modern releases and classic films for young and old. While it’s by no means the best of the Roger Moore era (that's "Live and let Die" if anyone is keeping score) it still has some iconic perfomances and images. The double whammy of Christopher Lee as elegant assassin Scaramanga and Herve Villechaize as his assistant Nick Nack. The gorgeous Hong Kong and Thailand locations. The corkscrew car jump stunt. The final funhouse duel. Yes the humour may be a bit over the top, but that was probably perfect for the younger members of the audience, like me. This film started a decades-long love affair with the franchise. Let's just not talk about Sheriff J.W. Pepper okay?

• Zardoz - John Boorman's post-apocalyptic science fiction oddity is an intriguing look at class, religion and free will. Yes it’s pretentious. Yes it’s campy. But you can’t deny the ambitious production design, even if some of it make no real sense.  It’s a true example of a cult film - bold, bizarre and unlike anything else, which is probably why I love it. It’s definitely worth a viewing,  even if it's just for the fabulous logo, the huge flying head and Sean Connery in a giant red nappy....

• Phantom of the Paradise - Another cult film, but this time it’s Brian De Palma’s satirical glam-rock mash up of Phantom of the Opera, Faust and The Picture of Dorian Gray. It’s another of those movies that I was way too young to see on original release, but was introduced to it as a teenager by a friend who was a bit of a connoisseur of weird cinema. For me the big draw was Paul Williams as sinister record producer Swan. I’d seen him on “The Muppet Show” and knew that he wrote and performed songs in Alan Parker’s “Bugsy Malone”. But this was a totally different side to the folksy charm of “An Old Fashioned Love Song”. I may have come for Williams, but I fell in love with the unique costumes, quirky visuals and offbeat acting. Truly a film that defies the mold.

• Dark Star - I’m at risk of turning this post into a cult film love-fest, but there were so many good movies released this year. None more so than this counter culture SF classic. For perhaps the first time, the future was seen not as gleaming spaceships and perfect technology, but full of malfunctioning equipment, vast empty voids and most of all - boredom. I loved the deadpan delivery, the beach ball alien slapstick and the whole anti-“2001”-ness of it all. Plus who can fail to love surf-boarding through space to the strains of “Benson, Arizona” ?

• The Four Musketeers - See 1973. 'Nuff said.

We're All Stories In The End 13 - Cat's Cradle : Warhead

When is a Doctor Who novel not a Doctor Who novel?...

Cat's Cradle : Warhead by Andrew Cartmel

Seventh Doctor Adventures number: 6

Originally published: April 1992

Companions: Ace

The place is Earth. The time is the near future — all too near.

Industrial development has accelerated out of all control, spawning dangerous new technologies and laying the planet to waste. While the inner cities collapse in guerrilla warfare, a dark age of superstition dawns.

As destruction of the environment reaches the point of no return, multinational corporations and super-rich individuals unite in a last desperate effort — not to save humankind, but to buy themselves immortality in a poisoned world.

If Earth is to survive, somebody has to stop them.

From London to New York to Turkey, Ace follows the Doctor as he prepares, finally, to strike back.

So the answer to my question above is, surprisingly, when its written by author of the "Seventh Doctor Masterplan", Andrew Cartmel. 

Welcome to Cats Cradle - Warhead.

Which doesn’t feature a cradle, what you would traditionally call a warhead or anything at all to do with the previous novel in this so called trilogy. It barely even features a cat - or (once again) the title character. Plus, no aliens, monsters, renegade Time Lords or other such malarkey. Apart from some telekinetic powers, it's almost more of a techno-thriller heist novel.

Yet it does turn out to be, at times, a complex and gripping story - although not without its flaws.

Okay, we're still with the manipulative, chess master incarnation of the Doctor, so it kind of makes sense that he stays in the background, popping up now and again to say something enigmatic and keep his plans on track.

Which mean that in this bleak, dystopian world of the near future, one which depressingly doesn’t seem that far fetched, the bulk of the story falls on Ace and the supporting characters - and what an interesting bunch they are.

Unlike "Time's Crucible", where I couldn’t have cared less about the fate of the bunch of misfits caught up in the Doctor's wake, here Cartmel introduces us to living breathing people with lives and histories and problems. All via a series of vignettes that often last just a scant few pages. Some of them are gone as quickly as they are introduced - take Maria the cleaner for example - but what's unusual is that despite this brevity, you genuinely miss them. Reviewers often talk about world-building, but this is proof of an author who is great at character-building.

Unfortunately, it's the bits in between the character moments which I was less enamoured of.

Let's get the matter of Justine's drug fuelled hallucination out of the way first. Severed heads rolling into toilet urinals ? I'm sorry - what ?

And given we are this early in the New Adventures range,  I'm not sure I can *quite* believe that the Ace of the TV series could hire and command a squad of hardened Kurdish mercenaries, take part in a mass shootout and happily wander around naked. But…it works I guess. It's certainly action-packed.

What's slightly more problematical is the fact that the Doctor seems to be quite cruel in the way he uses people. He lets people die. He abandons poor Maria. He allows Bobby Prescott to be murdered by a gang of street thugs that the Doctor himself has hired - and he uses Vincent and Justine as his ultimate weapon, regardless of the danger it puts them in.

Okay, so maybe the ends justify the means. And don’t get me wrong, I certainly enjoy characters that have a more grey coloured moral compass. It's just not how I'd expect the character of the Doctor to behave.

This *is* a well written novel. It has some interesting things to say about the direction we could be heading as a society. It has a well realised supporting cast and it cleverly pulls together a whole host of seemingly disparate threads into a cohesive finale. 

By those standards it’s a successful and enjoyable book.

But as I said at the start, I'm not entirely sure it’s a Doctor Who book.

Golden Sunsets Redux - 60 Years of Memories - Part 7 - 1973

Time for a look back at something which was an enjoyable TV series when I was very young, but due to it's influence on other media, became something much, much more...

1973:

The trivia:

• The "Tree of Ténéré" existed in the Sahara Desert in northeast Niger. It was considered the most isolated tree in the world as it was hundreds of miles from any other living thing and was estimated to have existed for around 300 years. Despite the passing of hordes of camels and nomadic Toureg tribesmen, the tree survived - leading many to believe that it was protected by a tribal taboo. When officials dug a well in 1938, they discovered that the roots had crept 35 meters (110 feet) beneath the surface to an underground water source. Astonishingly despite being the only landmark for miles, it was struck by vehicles twice - one in the 1940s and then again in 1973 by a drunken Libyan truck driver, which snapped it in half and killed it. The remains were later installed in a dedicated shrine at the Niger National Museum and a simple metal sculpture now stands in its former desert location.

• On 10th May 1973, an armed man wearing a black balaclava walked into the Imperial Bank of Commerce in Kenora, Canada and demanded that his bags were filled with money. Strapped round his chest were six sticks of dynamite, wired to a “dead man’s switch” in his teeth. As he made his escape with a hostage, a police sniper fired and detonated the bomb, killing the robber instantly. Eleven other people were also injured. With his features destroyed and any recovered evidence leading to dead-end false names and addresses, the man was never identified. Astonishingly, despite being scattered across a wide area by the explosion, almost all of the stolen $100,000 was recovered.

• When legendary rock band The Who were about to perform in San Francisco, drummer Keith Moon took some Ketamine mixed with brandy to “calm his nerves”. Part way through the set he started to slow down, eventually passing out mid-way through a song and had to be carted off to hospital. Watching the events unfold was 19-year-old fan Scott Halpin. When Pete Townshend asked if anyone in the audience could play drums, Halpin (despite not playing for a year) found himself propelled onto the stage and heroically trying to accompany the band in a nine-minute version of “Naked Eye”. After three songs the concert ended, with Halpin taking a bow alongside his heroes.

The memory:

The Six Million Dollar Man

"...we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man..."

With those immortal words from boss Oscar Goldman (or a version of them depending on what season you watch), actor Lee Majors became part-computerised astronaut Steve Austin - and star of ITV's top Saturday tea-time action show. I'm sure everyone over a certain age knows the basic premise, but let's quickly recap. Austin is critically injured in an experimental aircraft crash but is "rebuilt" in a pioneering operation costing - you guessed it - six million dollars. His right arm, both legs and left eye are replaced with "bionic" implants, enabling him (amongst other things) to run at 60 mph, see twenty times further than normal and lift enormous weights - although his new limbs are vulnerable to sub-zero temperatures. Austin is soon reluctantly recruited to work as a secret agent for the Office of Scientific Intelligence (OSI).

After three "made for TV" movies, we then got a proper series. The 99 episodes featured a number of increasingly outlandish science fiction and paranormal concepts - ESP, robot doubles, a fellow astronaut who can communicate with dolphins (played by William Shatner no less), aliens crash-landing on Earth, several appearances by Bigfoot, a rogue mechanical Venus probe, and an invisible alien island! Plus there were of course the various other bionic enhanced characters peppered throughout the five seasons, most famously Jaime Sommers, the Bionic Woman.

The show became hugely popular and by the mid-70s was visible everywhere. In the UK, schoolboys across the country took Steve Austin to their hearts and there were many playground scenarios where one or more children acted out bionic feats of strength (usually in slow-motion with appropriate "doing-oing-oing" sound effects).

Inevitably a spin-off for “The Bionic Woman” was developed and ran for three seasons from 1976. This time instead of an eye, Jamie Sommers was given a bionic ear, enabling her to hear across long distances or through walls. There were several crossover episodes with the parent series, more outlandish plots, the return of Bigfoot and even Maximillian, the bionic dog. 

The thing is, as good as the programmes were, what I really remember from this period are the toys and comic books.

The Six Million Dollar Man figure rivalled "Action Man" for popularity. Supposedly these were my younger brothers toys, but we both played with them equally and there were at least a couple of birthday and Christmas lists where we asked for the various play sets and add-ons.

Steve Austin himself was kitted out in a nifty bright red tracksuit. His left eye was a kind of telescope which your could peer through from the back of his head (in reality I seem to recall it just made everything look odd). Beneath the tracksuit top the bionic arm was covered in a kind of rubber "skin", which you could roll back to reveal the circuitry underneath. The arm also came off and could be replaced with different "critical assignment arms" which had gadgets such as a laser, a karate chop / gun combination and an underwater mask and air supply.

Pride of place in our household through was given to the "Bionic Transport and Repair Station". When closed it sort of resembled a Saturn V rocket with Steve's head peering out through the plastic window. But opened up and disassembled, it became a medical and scientific station for our hero to rest, recuperate and to be examined by the microscope, X-ray unit and computer - all connected by black tubes. Various stickers and glow in the dark dials created a place of electronic wizardry.

It's amazing that something so simple gave us so much joy. My brother and I spent hours devising missions for the Bionic Man, upgrading his weaponry in the Repair Station and then sending him off into the stratosphere in the rocket.

There were apparently several other playsets, such as outfits to dress Steve for deep space, a "Mission Vehicle" (which looks like a modern day 'Dustbuster' handheld vacuum cleaner) or an OSI Headquarters room to put your Oscar Goldman action figure in, plus more accessories - Critical Mission legs to go with those arms, a back pack crystal radio that really worked, a "porta-communicator" so you could make the Austin figure talk with your own voice - there was even an inflatable Mission Control Centre. Sadly we never had any of these and I can only remember seeing the crystal radio set in the shops.

No hero is complete without villains to fight and Steve Austin had several. There were action figures of Bigfoot (who strangely could project a square piece of plastic from his chest) and the Venus Space Probe with its rotating turret and missile launchers. I don't think those even made it to the UK and we were certainly never bought them by our parents. However we *did* get the greatest nemesis of them all...Maskatron.

This evil machine was a powerful robot who could disguise himself as Steve Austin or Oscar Goldman or adopt a bland normal human face to blend in with the population. His silver body was full of electronics and he could add two different weapon arms - a menacing grabber and a super suction arm (so he's essentially a Dalek in human form). The three faces could be stored inside a cavity in his chest. When fighting battles with your Bionic Man toy, if you hit Maskatron just on the right pressure points, his arms, legs and even head would fly off. Hours of fun!

Of course once Jaime Sommers came on the scene and got her own series, she also was released as an action figure, complete with "mission purse", realistic hair and a number of miniature accessories - oh and to rival “Barbie” she even got her own range of designer outfits, sports car, “carriage house” (a two foot tall dollhouse)  and even a bionic beauty salon! Jamie also got her own villain to fight in the form of the "Fembot" (basically Maskatron in drag). In those less enlightened times, we never asked for the toys. A shame, as some of them looked great.

But beyond the TV screen and the toy shop, the Six Million Dollar Man also went on to conquer the printed page. In the UK that meant a place in the popular kids TV tie-in magazine / comic "Look-In", which had been running since 1971. As well as pin-ups of TV stars and pop idols, interviews, crosswords and competitions, "Look-In"  also featured exciting picture strips of your favourite TV heroes and heroines. "Kung-Fu", "Space 1999", "Catweazle", "The Tomorrow People" and many more were lovely rendered in black and white and colour by a host of artists who are now very well known. The vast majority of the covers of "Look-In" were painted (many by John M. Burns) and Steve Austin featured on quite a few due to his immense success.

Impressively, over its lengthy run between June 1975 and March 1979, the tales of Steve Austin were written and drawn by the same creative team - Angus P. Allen and Martin Asbury. Asbury would also go on to be the artist on the Daily Mirror's decades-spanning SF / fantasy /adventure strip "Garth" (and the fact that there is no complete collection of the "Garth" tales is a travesty).

In comparison to the TV series the comics featured even more outlandish plotlines, including Lazlo Cernatz, the "Toymaker" who wanted to use his collection of deadly toys to hypnotise the children of the world to do his bidding, mad magician The Great Mandini and a gothic castle encounter with a werewolf.  Later on "The Bionic Woman" got her own strip drawn by John M. Burns and John Bolton, but this was more straightforward and faithful to the tone of the television series.

In the US, Charlton Comics produced a 9-issue full colour series in 1978, and more recently Dynamite Entertainment have had some success with various titles featuring the character with some issues written by director Kevin Smith. However in my mind, I'll always prefer the five-year run in "Look-In".

No look at the comics history of "The Six Million Dollar Man" would be complete though without mentioning the various homages, humour strips and blatant rip-off's. The first of these is "The 12 1/2p Buytonic Boy" which debuted in the first issue of "Krazy" comic in October 1976. Ordinary Steve Ford crashes his go-kart into a lamp post and buys a special tonic from Professor Nutz for the princely sum of twelve and a half pennies (the half penny still being legal tender until the mid-80s). Gaining special powers of speed, strength and agility, Steve is later hired by the 'Ever-so Secret Service' to defeat the nefarious plans of rival organisation the 'NME'.  The strip went through a number of name changes but ran for an amazing ten years across various titles and is still reprinted in "best of" collections to this day.

In 1977 along came what is without a doubt the most successful British comic of all time - 2000 AD. I have expressed my love for this title already and it's become one of the rare publications from the 1970s to still be released every single week. After 45 years and nearly 2,500 issues it shows no signs of slowing down it's mix of SF, fantasy and gritty action. Amazingly 2000 AD has had not one, not two, but *four* stories based around the concepts of the Bionic Man .Plus Prog 2 contained some free "Biotronic Man" stickers so you could turn yourself into a half man half robot hybrid. I loved these early comics and have very strong memories of them, so as much as this post is about The Six Million Dollar Man, please excuse the lengthy reminiscences that follow.

The first character started out as a blatant rip-off of the adventures of Steve Austin but soon became more original. Created by industry icon Pat Mills and appearing in the very first “Prog” released, "M.A.C.H. 1" was British Secret Service agent John Probe, who was given augmented speed and strength by a futuristic version of acupuncture - regulated by a computer fused into his skull. This "Man Activated by Compu-puncture Hyperpower" then operated across the world on missions against terrorists, assassins and organised crime - plus investigating hidden Nazi gold, mad tyrants and protecting visiting dignitaries and military scientists. In these early days "M.A.C.H. 1" rivalled "Judge Dredd" as the comics most popular story.

The various tales of John Probe were drawn by a wide range of British and European artists including Enio, Ian Kennedy, Massimo Bellardinelli, John Cooper, Mike Dorey and Jesus Redondo. Initially they were just more violent versions of the kind of thing the Bionic Man covered, but as time went on the strip started to embrace more fantastical elements. Probe encountered Yeti in the Himalayas, an alien spacecraft disguised as a Mayan temple and even journeyed into space to uncover a plot involving astronaut doubles and an attempt to start World War III.

Increasingly Probe became disillusioned with his missions and the machinations of his boss Dennis Sharpe. Things start to come to a head when he discovered that Sharpe and his American counterparts covered up the shooting down of a UFO by the US Air Force and the subsequent retaliation by the aliens. Then in Progs 36 - 39, John meets Tanya Maski, a East European woman who had been turned into M.A.C.H. Woman. Teaming up to defeat a lunatic who had turned children into Hyperpowered zombies (shades of the "Toymaker" perhaps...), Probe convinced her to defect to the West, but she died in the final battle to destroy the stolen secrets. It then turned out that Sharpe knew about her all along and Probe vowed to investigate his corrupt practices.

Digging through Sharpe's files John discovered the existence of M.A.C.H. Zero, the first experiment with the Compu-puncture technology. Lacking the controlling computer intelligence, the poor man had been reduced to little more than a child-like beast held in a secure facility. Zero broke out of his prison and he and Probe ended up fighting, but eventually Zero was convinced to turn himself in and Sharpe promised to find a cure for his condition. Of course it's was a double-cross and Zero was seemingly killed in an explosion.

Totally disillusioned with things, Probe disappeared for months until Sharpe's men found him and hauled him before the man in charge. It was revealed that if he didn't get regular top-ups of Compu-puncture, Probe would burn out and die. After being forced to go on another mission, he also realised that he had no memory from before the experiments that gave him his powers and officially he did not exist! Confronting his controller, Probe learned that Sharpe had been manipulating events from the beginning and now intended to roll out his next version of the technology - the fully android M.A.C.H. 2.

The final adventure was told in flashback at an inquiry. As first direct contact was made with the a race of benevolent aliens, Sharpe became power-mad and attempted to wipe them all out to steal their technology - a kind of militarised version of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind".  Probe elects to save the alien ambassador (nick-named "Fred") at the cost of his own life and dies in a hail of bullets as Fred's rescuers escape to the stars. Thankfully Sharpe is caught in the cross-fire and the inquiry concludes that he had gone rogue and that Probe had died a hero. The case-file on M.A.C.H. 1 was closed and we never learned who John Probe really was or how he was conscripted in the first place. It's an abrupt end to an exciting but ultimately sad tale.

At the time I was quite upset by the death of M.A.C.H. 1. Sure we had seen various cowboys eaten by rampaging dinosaurs and Dredd killing perps committing a crime, but this was the first time a genuine hero had died.

The story is not quite over though, as in Prog 65 M.A.C.H. Zero returned in his own series, having survived the explosion and been left wandering aimlessly ever since. A tragic yet innocent anti-hero more in the mold of Frankenstein's monster, Zero had a number of fairly unremarkable adventures against unscrupulous entertainers and the like, but also befriended a tribe of sewer-dwelling down-and-outs before deciding to embark on his own quest to find his lost son Tommy. However when he became mixed up in an attempt to steal an experimental battle suit, Zero is almost recaptured by the authorities. Nothing was heard from him for quite a while and meanwhile in Prog 95 another new series started which had a sideways connection to "The Six Million Dollar Man".

Written by Chris Stevens with art by Carlos Pino and lasting just five episodes, "Angel" was the story of Scorpion F-20 pilot Harry Angel who was involved in a near fatal crash and found his aircraft's computer bonded to the nerves in his right arm and shoulder. The artificial intelligence believed that the man *was* the plane and it gave Harry a host of abilities including enhanced reflexes, muscle control and an almost superhuman ability to sense danger. Sound familiar? All sorts of exciting adventures ensued. Actually they didn't. It's a wholly unremarkable fill-in story and I only mention it here because the plot bears some similarities to "Cyborg IV" by Martin Caidin. The original "Cyborg" novel was of course the first tale of Steve Austin and the direct inspiration for the TV series. Harry Angel has had a handful of cameo appearances in other strips over the intervening decades, usually highlighting how crap he is…

M.A.C.H. Zero returned for one last adventure in Progs 162 - 165. Dying from the effect of the  Hyperpower experiments, he had one final chance to rescue his son Tommy from an abusive foster-father before dying on Dartmoor after a battle with the army. With that final appearance it seemed that the Compu-puncture project was dead - and that was true until the spring of 1997...

Having won a landslide victory in the British General Election, Tony Blair realised that to make Britain great again he must perform the ultimate sacrifice and change forever. A sequence of Compu-puncture operations transform the Prime Minister and connect him to a computer intelligence known as Doctor Spin -  turning him into the first man to have Bio-Enhancement Link-Up via Artificial Intelligence Relays - he had became B.L.A.I.R. 1!

Yes it's a crude satire strip. Originally appearing as a one-off humourous update to M.A.C.H. 1 in the future-looking "3000 AD" supplement that accompanied the comics 20th birthday, it returned as a short series a few months later. As you can imagine it was somewhat controversial and attracted a lot of attention from the tabloid press. It was scripted by veteran Alan Grant and featured excellent fully painted artwork from rising star Simon Davis - and to be honest that's probably the best thing about it. It was a bit of a low point for 2000 AD. Thankfully B.L.A.I.R. 1 was killed off by 'reader demand' just sixty-odd issues later in June 1998, having endured just four short adventures. Rumours of a Donald Trump starring reboot are thankfully just fake news...

The adventures of Steve Austin and his friends have continued to have an influence on popular culture across the decades. In the 1980s we would get much darker takes on cybernetic organisms with “The Terminator” and “Robocop”. In literature, William Gibson’s “Neuromancer” depicted a world where cybernetic technology was commonplace. In the present day Charlie Brooker’s “Black Mirror” has shown how human / technology interfaces may not be the boon we thought they were. These are all excellent of course, but the child within me still keeps returning to those days when all you needed to be a super secret agent was some stickers and the ability to pretend punch in slow-motion.

Time for another battle with Maskatron I think...

Honourable mentions:

• The Three Musketeers - There have been many, many versions of the classic "d'Artagnan Romance" stories by Alexander Dumas, but this one directed by Richard Lester is by far and away my favourite. Not only does it manage to walk the fine line between swashbuckling action adventure and comedic moments, but just look at that cast - Michael York as the young, naïve d'Artagnan. Oliver Reed. Frank Finlay and Richard Chamberlain as his three faithful companions. Scene stealing villainous performances from Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway and Christopher Lee. Raquel Welch and Roy Kinnear in supporting roles. It's a near perfect ensemble. Plus the screenplay by George MacDonald Fraser (author of the "Flashman" novels) is a pretty faithful adaptation of the novel, a significant achievement given the book's complexity. Add authentic looking locations and some bracing fight sequences and it all adds up to a film that is just fabulous. No other version (except the filmed-at-the-same-time sequel of course) has even come close.

• Pipkins - This fondly remembered children's TV show featuring animal puppets aired on the ITV network between 1973 and 1981. My memories are of coming home for lunch from my village school (yes, we used to do that) and watching the antics of Hartley Hare, Pig, Topov the monkey and the others while I ate my sandwiches. To be honest I don't recall much about the early years with old Inigo Pipkin and his workshop, so my era of the show would have been with Johnny (plated by Wayne Laryea) and the animals running an organisation called "The Help People". Nowadays it seems fashionable to only talk about how moth-eaten, scary and deformed looking the puppets were, but at the time it was quite a ground-breaking show in its use of characters with distinct regional accents. I just loved the stories and the characters. This was from an era where kids shows could actually teach you things. In total 333 episodes were made, but only 135 have survived. A real shame.

• Star Trek - The Animated Series - After the cancellation of the original "Star Trek" series in 1969, it was repeated endlessly on American syndicated television, resulting in a huge rise in fan appreciation for the show. There has been talks about a more child-orientated animated spin-off even while the third season was airing, but it took until 1973 for a deal to be struck, by which time Gene Rodenberry decided that he wanted to continue the voyages of the crew of the Starship Enterprise.  Most of the cast returned to voice their characters and despite some technical limitations animation allowed the writers far greater freedom and creativity than was possible in the original live-action series. The show is also notable for giving Kirk the middle name Tiberius - and for featuring non-humanoid crew members, in the form of three-legged alien Arex and the cat-like M'Ress (both later to appear in the "New Frontier" novels by the much-missed Peter David). I loved the show and for a while I remembered more about the animated stories than the live-action ones, particularly as the show used the classic Filmation style which I knew from so many other Saturday morning cartoons of the period. It's still a favourites and yes  - it IS canon if anyone asks !